Life, Love, Loss

I am sure I am not alone in having that gut-wrenching, heart-stopping moment on Facebook, when this appeared on my timeline a few days ago.


The stark reality is that Carolyn will never again experience another birthday for she died a few weeks before what would have been her 55th birthday.

In honor of her birthday I would like to share her final post which she published on her blog in April 2014.


Life lived is at once a seemingly never-ending horizon of what can be, a translucent bowl of swirling once was.

Every moment lived, life. Every life, a vast network of connections through experience, a hope for compassion and understanding.

To claim a singular emotion at a determined point in time as being the specific mandate of our journey would be futile. For every opportunity realized, the multilayered essence of life, non-specific to one thought, non-linear to expression, seems impossible to contain.

Life is at once beautiful, intense, joyful, tragic, gutting. Life is poignant, pathetic, depressing, inspiring, revered. Life is heart-rending and heartfelt… infinite vessels of our humanity contain each desire to embrace, to reach further, to hold on, to soar.

As life unfurls, our definitive central node remains elusive. Contemplation is the everlasting transformation of light dancing behind eyelids reverie. Petals of forever gently falling away to new possibilities.

Life is the motion, the forward-thinking continually evolving hope and dream. Life is not where you once lived, for that is memory. Life is not where you end up, for that is death, and in death, life ceases to be.

Carolyn Frayn
April 2014

As we grieve Carolyn’s death, and the deaths of all those we’ve loved and lost to cancer, let’s take heed of Debra’s words:

Every time we experience these terrible losses, it serves as a stark, powerful reminder of why we became advocates in the first place. As cancer patients and advocates, we are the ones who bring a critical sense of urgency to identifying the cancer research questions that truly matter, that will have the most impact, that will ultimately lead to more cures. By working to support one another and to transform our grief into remembrance and renewed commitment to our advocacy efforts, perhaps that is the most appropriate, necessary, and powerful way to honor all of those we have lost.


Carolyn Frayn, January 10, 1961 – December 20, 2015

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