When bloggers meet offline
I managed to catch up with fellow blogger Jan Hasak on her last night in Ireland. Jan is from California and is author of two books Mourning Has Broken: Reflections on surviving breast cancer and The Pebble Path: Returning home from a forest of shadows and is a previous guest blogger on JBBC. We only had a short time to meet up but we could have talked all evening – perhaps her kissing the blarney stone had something to do with it 🙂
Back in February 2010, I posed the question does the internet depress you? This was in response to findings from a study that there was “striking” evidence that some avid net users develop compulsive internet habits in which they replace real-life social interaction with online chat rooms and social networking sites.
This study reinforces the public speculation that over-engaging in websites that serve to replace normal social function might be linked to psychological disorders like depression and addiction.
One sign of depression is this very desire to hide away from real life social interaction, so I would suggest that it is not the internet causing the depression, but that these individuals are already depressed. In fact, I would go so far as to say maybe it’s a good thing they at least have some interaction, even if it is virtual. However, I can also see how easy it is to slip into this situation of overly communicating online and sometimes we get caught up in online drama which possibly is not healthy for us.
It is still a source of amazement to me how quickly online friendships build and how much we care about these friends; something Feisty Blue Gecko captured perfectly in her latest post – cancer, internet and unexpected emotions. These friendships have sustained me through some dark times. When you reach out to someone online and let them know that you hear what they are saying and that you understand and care can offer enormous support, which should not be underestimated. This theme is also taken up in the latest Bringing Up Goliath post which tells a tale of two different types of friendship.
So, here’s to online friendships, and if you get the chance to meet offline, my advice is go for it. In meeting Jan, I discovered a gentler and sweeter person than I had imagined from reading her words on a screen. It certainly deepened my admiration and understanding of her. Sometimes the danger is that we can get too reliant on communicating online and forget the old fashioned benefits of giving and receiving a real hug from new friends and reaching out to touch them in a substantive way.
What a sweet picture of you two. So glad you got to connect in Ireland.
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Well I haven’t met any of my blogger friends in real life due to the logistical problem of the closest friends being in a different country, but I would absolutely love to meet up if I had the chance!
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I haven’t met any bloggers in real life but I have built up a close friendship with one or two and we call each other on the telephone – i reckon that almost counts… 🙂
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I have met some bloggers offline and been very disappointed in them – they were nothing like they presented themselves to be…it has put me off doing it again.
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I agree it is easy to slip in that overcommunicating with strangers business real easy – like any addiction, awareness is the key – once I became aware, i rebalanced things in my life – but yes, it is easy to fall into the trap of internet addiction and then like any addiction, depression is sure to follow
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Friendship is friendship – you are just as likely to form a friendship through blogging as meeting someone at a networking event. You follow the blogs you have the most in common way – so of course real life friendships can happen
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I think of it as like forming a friendship with a penpal and we all know stories of how these friendships can span lifetimes. I think it’s great!
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I agree with Rhona – I too think it’s like the modern version of penpals – I had one of those when I was a child and we are still friends 15 years later.
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The one aspect i find depression about the internet and no one has mentioned it here – is those nasty comments people leave on sites such as youtube, etc. It is particularly despicable and reading them makes me depressed and despair for the human race
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Candy you are so right there!
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Marie,
Jan is on my list of people to meet. She won my book giveaway 2 weeks ago. Your comments about depression and Social Media resonate with me. Perhaps I need better time management skills, but when I get on Twitter & FB, time flies by, and the first thing I know, I haven’t gotten anything else done. That’s when my depression sets in.
XOXOXO,
Brenda
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It’s a fine balance isn’t it Brenda. I certainly find that from time to time I need to pull back a little too. I hope I am on that list of yours of people to meet? For you are certainly on mine x
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Great article and WONDERFUL photo, Marie!
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Thank you so much Michele for your comment 🙂
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Marie, Great post. I think friendship is good regardless. Can one spend too much time online? Absolutely. But that isn’t a friendship problem, that’s a time management, and for some an addiction, problem.
Sometimes it is hard to find balance. Sometimes, like Brenda, I find the day gets away from me too…
I’m so happy you and Jan met.
Guess I better go do something else!
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you summed it up there Nancy – it is an addiction problem if anything – I absolutely agree
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I agree with Marie that if you can meet up with an online friend, one who is affirming and encouraging, by all means do it. You will be the richer for it. Meeting up with Marie is the second time I have connected with an online correspondent in person. Both meetings were richly rewarding. Marie is such a dear; you can’t help but smile when you see and talk to her.
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Aw I felt just the same about meeting you 🙂
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I sooooooo needed this today, I have been struggling lately, too much time and drama online…it is chicken and egg though, especially when time is so little….
good stuff marie!
Lauren
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How lovely to see you both 🙂
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Jealous…there, I admit it. I want to meet you too! Oh if Ireland were a bit closer! Do you think Twitter would host a gathering for us all and pay for it?
Love, Deb
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Oh if only Debs!
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