And still your wonderful comments keep coming. I am so grateful to each and every one of you. Your collective wisdom and compassion, which I always knew to be there, has lifted me up and carried me this past weekend.
I am learning so much through this experience. Above all, I am learning that fighting against the reality of what is will just exhaust you and get you nowhere. I love what Sighle had to say in her comment
I know you also love Pema Chodron, and when I feel a resistance to “what is” (which is only in the now ) I think of her saying; “Now I have enough compassion to enjoy all that is agreeable in my life, and all that is disagreeable in my life”
I am not sure I am quite ready to enjoy what is disagreeable, but I really do get what Sighle is saying here – we must accept the reality of what is in our lives and that perhaps some of our suffering comes from our expectation that things should be different and of course not living in the reality of the present moment. Again Pema has this to say:
The source of all wakefulness, the source of all kindness and compassion, the source of all wisdom, is in each second of time. Anything that has us looking ahead is missing the point
As Debbie says
We all must acknowledge and accept that sadness is going to be a part of our lives and when it comes allow it, accept it as much as we can so we can truly feel it.
Again this reminds me of an interview with Pema, where she said that this is the first noble truth – you are willing to see suffering as suffering.
And so what do we do with this suffering? Again, I am staying with what Pema has to say:
The fundamental question is not whether there is or isn’t suffering. It is how we work with suffering so that it leads to awakening the heart and going beyond the habitual views and actions that perpetuate suffering. How do we actually use suffering so that it transforms our being and that of those that we come in contact with? How can we stop running from pain and reacting against it in ways that destroy us as well as others? This is a message that people can hear, but they have to hear it a lot, and with great heart, and from people who really care, not from somebody who is just passing through to make a few dollars…
I am trying to practise an unconditional embrace of what is right now, this suffering, this pain – to embrace it all. I do believe that grief if we stay open to it is a way to connect us to our deepest self. When we are brave enough to feel the pain of loss, we open ourselves up to so much more. It’s a difficult and challenging practice to keep your heart and mind open to everything that comes your way but your wisdom and compassion have gone a long way towards helping me and for that I am truly grateful.
And because I know that you speak from your own deep place of suffering and loss too your words have a greater power to heal and transform than any self-help book ever could. So never underestimate the power of your words to heal.
“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around “~ Leo Buscaglia
Thank you for turning things around for me x