Healing balm to my soul
Yesterday I allowed myself the luxury of wallowing in my despair. After I wrote my blog post, I logged off, buried myself under the covers of the duvet and cried and railed at the world. I grieved the lost babies I will never get to hold, the lost opportunities to conceive, the loss of a breast that will never get to suckle a child, the loss of friends and family to cancer, the loss of past loves, so many heartbreaks and losses we have to bear in this lifetime.
This morning I woke up with red rimmed and swollen eyes, and logging on again, read through each and every one of your comments. Such an outpouring of compassion – your words were like a healing balm to my soul.
In amongst your comments, I read Moria’s comment on the post what to say to someone with cancer – “always be compassionate to those fighting cancer”. How true Moira and I would go further and say always be compassionate to everyone you meet – for we are all fighting a battle with some challenge in our lives. For some it may be cancer, for some infertility, for some the loss of a beloved parent, spouse, partner or friend. As I said so many losses and heartaches in all our lives.
Do you know the meaning of the word compassion? It means to suffer together with, and that is how I feel we are in this community when we show each other compassion. We have the power to share the suffering of each other and to lighten the burden of our fears and our sadness.
So thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your kind words and support – they truly are balm to my soul, lightening my load and lighting my journey ahead.
just read your last two blogs. please continue to write about the truth of what you think and feel; whether despairing or hopeful, filled with darkness or filled with light… it’s all encouraging believe it or not.
loved what you had to say about compassion. henri nouwen, a catholic priest, wrote a great book called compassion. very good.
and marie, you exemplify god’s compassion more than most christians i know. thank you
As I try to deal with a loss, after many, that has finally brought me to my knees, I just want to tell you that my heart goes out to you over the miles. There are losses that leave gaping holes that no amount of time will ever heal. I work hard every morning to try to gather the energy to face the next 24 hours. I have to put on my “game face” and take care of the responsibilities of life, but when I am alone, the pain is crushing. Compassion for all is a most important rule, for so very many of us are walking around with our “game faces” on. By showing compassion and love, it doesn’t change the situation, but it
does help to “lighten the burden of our fears and our sadness”. Hoping that you can feel the love that I am sending to you.
nancy, my heart goes out to you as well. along with strength
Marie, I didn’t know that was the meaning of compassion. And your advice, to be compassionate to ALL those we meet, so powerful. It’s true, we don’t know what people are going through and the battles they are or have been dealing with. We can’t see into their hearts. Once again, your kindness and empathy shine through, even during your own pain.
About yesterday, you needed to pull the covers over your head and “wallow” in your despair. Allow yourself time to do just that. You need to grieve and “cover your soul” with the “healing balm” others give to you. Hoping for a lighter load and brighter light ahead for you.
I believe the breast cancer community understands loss of every kind. They truly grieve when we grieve, regardless of the cause. Those of us who have survived and suffered are perhaps even more empathetic than some of our other friends who’ve not been down our same path.
Like you, yesterday, I buried my head in the covers and cried for the loss of James. Because of our severe weather, I had no heat and had been in a hotel for three days; my dogs boarding at the vet. Displaced from my home, and my remaining family, my aloneness seemed even more exaggerated until I read some of the compassionate posts on my blog about James. I, too, felt like I was sharing my burden with someone who really cared and understood.
You have my heart and are in my prayers, dear friend.
I feel very touched by your honesty and vulnerability.
It’s wonderful to hear that you have the compassion to allow yourself to fully feel loss, and in feeling it, take care of yourself and your feelings.
I know you also love Pema Chodron, and when I feel a resistance to “what is” (which is only,in the now ) I think of her saying;
“Now I have enough compassion to enjoy all that is agreeable in my life, and all that is disagreeable in my life”.
For me compassion comes from mothering myself, and suffering from not being able to open my heart to the unknown, which includes possibilities.
I hope I don’t sound too much the Yoga teacher!
With love and gratitude, Sighle
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