How to Build Resilience – Dedicated to the Memory of Elizabeth Edwards

Martine Brennan
To mark World Mental Health Week, back in October, I asked some of my favourite bloggers to write a guest post on the theme of Building Resilience. I want to repost one of those today to honour the memory of Elizabeth Edwards, for whom the word and the act of resilience had a special meaning.
______________________________________
Kicking off this special series of posts is life-coach, Martine Brennan. Martine is the author of Happiness It’s Just a Habit, a little book which slips the happiness habit into your life as easily as the books slips into your pocket or bag. I have a copy which I carry in my briefcase all the time!
Most of us have taken on board the importance of regular exercise to strengthen our muscles and bones. But few of us take the time to strengthen our “emotional muscles” and build resilience in ourselves. Then along comes a life-challenge and we discover we have developed little or no strength with which to face the challenge. Our lives could most probably be described as;
- Don’t eat healthy food
- Don’t exercise
- Don’t rest when we are tired
- Don’t be honest with ourselves about how we REALLY feel
- Don’t think about what REALLY matters to us
- Don’t spend time with people we love who make us feel good
- Don’t ask for help
You can probably add to this list, I certainly can!
I learned about this the hard way in 2004 when my baby daughter Hannah died. Nothing could have prevented me from experiencing overwhelming grief but I had also fallen out of the habit of taking care of myself. I had to start all over again and build healthy habits back into my life.
Now I know that my inner strength and resilience is rooted in gentle DAILY habits. All of them are simple. None of them are hugely time-consuming. Mostly, I take time each day to do at least one thing that I really enjoy doing. I put myself and my needs on my “to do” list. I make time for ice cream cones or comedy shows, a favourite book, music or a good walk. This small difference in my day has made a huge difference in my life.
What ONE thing could you add to your day which would make you feel stronger and better? The only secret is to do it EVERY day.
If you would like some more suggestions on how to build your resilience and a happier life you can find them on my blog
Martine Brennan
author of Happiness it’s just a habit
I think this idea of a week full of posts promoting good mental health is a wonderful idea! Thanks to Martine for kicking off the week with such practical ideas.
LikeLike
I start every day waking up in my house before anyone else does. This gives me 15-30 minutes to be with myself, to do something even if it is sitting quietly in a chair, for myself. Sometimes I prepare food in the kitchen, sometimes I sit with my ipod on listening to my favorite music, sometimes I read. The activity really isn’t that important to me, what’s important to me is that I take some time out for myself. I have found since beginning this habit, I am better suited to tackle my day and whatever happens to come up.
LikeLike
I love this Patty! Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us.
LikeLike
I totally agree Patty. I work from home and we have a 2 year old daughter, so things can be quite hectic once she is awake. I find those 15-30 minutes of quiet time in the morning as a great way to set myself up for the day. I also take the dog for a walk at least once a day, usually in the evening before I sit down with my wife. I find walking to be great for the mind, body and spirit.
LikeLike
Very simple but effective ideas here.
LikeLike
I really enjoyed reading this today 🙂
LikeLike
I put myself and my needs on my “to do” list. ! Love it! Am moving myself up to the top of my own to do list after reading today’s post 🙂
LikeLike
I love this gentle post – found the tips very effective and I will certainly be putting them into practise. Thanks so much for sharing them.
LikeLike
Now I know that my inner strength and resilience is rooted in gentle DAILY habits – what a wonderful concept. It has transformed my day! Thank YOU!!!
LikeLike
Martine, I am so sorry for the loss of your baby – how heart-breaking for you, but well done on transforming your life! What an inspiration you are.
LikeLike
Thanks for your condolences Tamara. They mean a lot.
LikeLike
Really wonderful – so simple but so worthwhile to make these changes – something we all can do easily enough.
LikeLike
I too love the idea that such simple changes can make such profound difference in our lives. I feel liberated by these words. often when I am feeling stressed or down, I feel like the effort to change my life is overwhelming and I don’t do anything, but hearing these words has totally changed my perspective.
LikeLike
Dear Fiona, I remember that feeling of not having the strength to do BIG things, of feeling overwhelmed. Thats why I wanted my book to be small and EASY. Why are all the books about happiness so complicated? I think resilience is a bit like Yoga, a small shift can have a HUGE impact.
LikeLike
Such great advice! I really commend you Martine on the simple effectiveness of it.Thanks for sharing it.
LikeLike
As a busy working Mum, juggling too many things, I know I don’t make time to take care of myself. Reading today’s post, has made me realise how important it is to do these simple things – it is like an insurance policy for when things overwhelm us. Thanks for the reminder!
LikeLike
Marie what a great post. This is very very practical for me today! I do get up every morning and have quiet time with my God. It also helps to know that others struggle with taking time for ourselves in this busy crazy world. Blessings today!
LikeLike
So glad you like my dear x
LikeLike
Just took 2 mins to read this – a very inspiring and common sense approach and a great idea for this week, Marie, well done to you and Martine x
LikeLike
Great idea & post! Well done Marie & Martine 🙂
LikeLike
Hi Niall and Frank, welcome to the JBBC blog and thank you both for taking the time to comment. Marie
LikeLike
Pingback: 10 Ways to Build Resilience « Journeying Beyond Breast Cancer
Thanks Martine and Marie, very useful 🙂
Off to try …
LikeLike
Lily, lovely to hear from you again and thanks for taking the time to comment. Hope all goes well for you Stateside x
LikeLike
Pingback: The Power of Positive Thinking « Journeying Beyond Breast Cancer
Thank you all for taking the time to read the blog. I have just returned from a lovely refreshing and renewing break in Brighton, U.K. to find your lovely comments. I particularly like Carla’s comment about this time we spend every day being like an insurance policy. Putting ourselves on our “to do’ lists really is like paying a premium into our “wellness bank”. So keep on making deposits..the return is great…even in the downturn!
LikeLike
Ah yes Martine! The restorative power of the weekend break – there is nothing like it 🙂 Thanks again for such a positive uplifting post and terrific advice.
LikeLike
Dear Marie, although I had never met Elizabeth in person I felt so encouraged by her, especially in the way that she found life again after her son Wade died. So thank you for this honour.
I am thinking of you all in the past few days.
Warm hugs
Martine
PS I forgot to let you know that my blog is now on my own website http://www.martinebrennan.com
You are all welcome to sign up for the RSS feed and the free Get Strong, Stay Strong material.
Take care of yourselves Mx
LikeLike
Thanks so much Martine x
LikeLike