A tribute to cancernet friendship
Philippa, aka Feisty Blue Gecko, entitled her guest post for me “Blown Away” and that certainly describes my reaction when I read her wonderful tribute to online friendships.
Blown Away
One thing about cancer. It makes you think and reflect on things you take for granted. Like our health, mobility, relationships and particularly mortality. I am fascinated by the subject of “cancernet” friendship, which Lauren introduced in the Circle of Friends post.
When you combine reflections about cancer with today’s technology and especially internet connectivity, things start to get really complex and a number of surprises land on your lap. Cancer unites us in providing a common enemy. The internet enables us to garner that unity and use it constructively. For me personally, social networking and particularly blogging, have played a massive role in my cancer experience and do so increasingly. Connections with people we have never met develop into firm friendships.
I can’t remember exactly when I connected with Marie first, but I feel as if I have known her for years. Last Christmastime I received a message from her. With an audio link, and an inspirational message for the season. Being in Yangon meant that downloading even a small audio file took a silly amount of time, but I was determined to wait it out. I am so glad I did. Being facebook friends, I at least had an image of her in my mind, but hearing her voice for the first time,
and her gentle Irish lilt was incredibly powerful and demonstrated the strangeness of this new “virtual” type of friendship.
I do believe that it was Marie’s touch which connected me with Lauren and her beautifully insightful blog. And another warm “cancernet” friendship has evolved. I can hear Lauren’s gorgeous southern drawl in her writing and even in her facebook status updates. But I realise that I actually have no idea what her voice sounds like. And in fact, I would probably not recognise her if I passed her in the street. Though if she was in Yangon without telling me first I would be mightily upset!
The distance melts into insignificance when something happens to one of us. I love to lie on my back after a long swim in the evening, floating and looking up to the night sky. The waxing moon which I focus on is the same waxing moon that Marie and Lauren can see. We may be in different corners of the globe but that there are many experiences which touch us, and many others, very similarly.
Breast cancer did not care about boundaries, nationalities or distance when it burst into our lives. Illness and grief with their relentlessly equitable approach have no regard for differences as they sweep into our lives. And while we each respond in our own way, it is incredible how much these experiences can bind us together over immeasurable swathes of distance and time.
Our hearts ache as cancer continues to steal so much from Marie. But it can never steal the strong love between mother and daughter. Nor can it steal the rich library of memories and shared experience. We can’t take the pain away, but we can listen and support. We continue to be blown away by the strength of our online friendships.
In this big wide world, we are not alone.
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Visit Feisty Blue Gecko – A Tail of the Unexpected to read more of Philippa’s writings and poetry.
What a wonderful tribute to online friendships forged through the fire of cancer.
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A fitting tribute to Marie’s efforts to build a community of like minded individuals, united not just by cancer, but by life’s trials and tribulations. I can personally attest to the effort that goes on behind the scenes by Marie to reach out and connect and support women from all over the globe.
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Such a sincere and moving testament to online friendships – well done Philippa!
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Philippa, you have put into words how I feel myself about the online friendships I have formed through the cancernet – beautifully written – thank you for sharing it with us
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For those who say the internet doesn’t enhance our lives or foster real friendship, well they should read this!
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Wonderful contribution to Standing in the Gap – I thoroughly enjoyed this celebration of online friendship.
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Very well said Philippa!
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I love your comment about the moon. I often find solice in knowing we share this world’s beauty with others we have yet to meet. Thank you for your thoughtful words today.
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Lovely reflections Philippa. I also love the moon comment and think the same when I look at the moon in my night sky, and contemplate my ‘friends’ who are now all over the world. Best, Sarah
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Beautiful, just beautiful. I read it twice, to take in the loveliness of your phrases as well as the specialness of the idea expressed. We are so fortunate to have each other out there in the blogosphere during the cancer experience. Thanks, Phillipa, for describing it so beautifully.
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This is a beautiful post. The last paragraph is especially meaningful to me. Cancer steals so much but it cannot take away the strong bonds of love shared between a mother and a daughter and it cannot take away the rich library of memories (love that!). And you’re so right, Philippa, the distance between friends doesn’t matter. It is so comforting to me to think about others (like you and Marie) ‘out there’ all over the world who are in my corner and who truly understand. This strange ‘cancernet friendship’ thing is really quite profound isn’t it? I hope it helps Marie get through this difficult time. Thanks for writing such a thoughtful post.
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Philippa, this is so beautiful. Friendships have carried me through countless crises. Marie and Lauren are indeed special, as are the Nancys and Kathi and Sarah and Brenda and Lori and Lynne and so many other fellow cancer blogesses. The list goes on forever.
Marie, you are in our hearts and minds forever. Mums are such special people and I weep as I type this to think about my own Mum. She knew me better than anyone else.
Much love,
jan
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Love this! I too don’t know what I would do without my ‘cancernet.’ I didn’t even know had one! (Today is the first I am hearing this phrase. It fits perfectly.) 😉
It is largely through Marie that I have discovered so many fabulous BC bloggers. She is, for so many of us, the glue of the BC blogosphere.
Thank you, Philippa. Thank you, Marie. Thank you to all who share your BC experience with the world. It is a net like none other.
-Renn
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I just love the bloggesses so very much. Beautiful writing Philippa!
Lauren
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This is so beautiful! Thank you Philippa for articulating exactly how I feel about the unexpected friendships I have forged with so many of you. I feel incredibly lucky to have found this little community and love every chance I get to meet my “sisters” in person. Big hugs to both you and Marie today. Wish we were in the same city or even the same time zone, but I’m so happy we share the same moon and the same connection.
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My goodness – thank you all so much for your beautiful comments. This tells us so clearly how much our online friendships matter, how strong are the emotional connections we make, and what an incredibly rich community we are a part of.
Marie’s efforts to bring us together have played such a key role in strengthening that bond. We have so much to be thankful for.
I could not write any of this without you all, my unexpected friends – you are my inspiration and I am enormously thankful.
Philippa 🙂
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Philippa,
This is absolutely beautiful. What a tremendous bond we have established and it circles the globe! I’m the new one to this gang and I’ve been embraced by so many in large part to Marie who completely blew me away when she mentioned my blog in one of her Friday Round Up’s.
The internet has made the world a very small place, indeed and I am touched to be part of YOUR world, P and to many of those who commented here.
To Marie: I hope you are doing well. Please know I think of you often. I hope you are taking care of you. Know that you are loved by many and we are all standing behind you.
I send love to all,
AnneMarie
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Philippa,
You’ve captured all of our feelings about this wonderful network of women that we’d never have met, much less known so much about, if it hadn’t been for our blogs. We are definitely a sisterhood, an extended family born of common experience. No one else identifies so closely with what we’ve been through, and we trust their suggestions.
Love to you all,
Brenda
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This is so touching and true, Philippa, and I’m so very glad to know you and Marie and Lauren, and many wonderful others, in the blogosphere. xxx
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