Guest Post: Sing to Live
Today's guest writer - Melinda Pollack-Harris
August 10, 2004 was the day my life was redirected. It was the day I was told abnormal cells were found in a recent biopsy. I was told I needed surgery and radiation treatments. It wasn’t until radiation was mentioned that I asked the radiologist, “Is this breast cancer?” She said, “I’m afraid so. She quickly proceeded to tell me that the cancer was found very early, the tumor very small and if anyone were to get breast cancer, the type I have is the ‘best’ kind to have. She also said that while this is difficult news, it should prove to be a ‘blip’ in my life. I decided at that moment to trust what she told me and to proceed with that thought in mind.
As my journey as a breast cancer patient began, I sought out others that had experienced or were experiencing what I was going through. While I had unlimited support from family, friends and work, there’s nothing like talking to someone who’s been there so I sought out support groups. I found that these support groups offer wonderful programs that provide cancer patients and survivors a welcomed distraction. What I found glaringly missing, for me, was an interactive musical outlet. I was very surprised to see this type of activity missing since music is such a healing activity. I did some further research on a variety of support groups and found there were, in fact, no interactive musical offerings available. So, to fill this void I decided to start a chorus myself. I spoke with family and friends about “this idea I have” and received a lot of encouragement. The Sing to Live® Community Chorus was born.
We will be entering into our 7th season in August and will be starting our second chorus. One is in Central Chicagoland and our new chorus will be on the North Shore. We will start this season with approximately 90 singers (men and women). We’re not your typical chorus (classical, liturgical). Quite the contrary. We sing a wide variety of music.
If you or someone you know: lives in the Chicagoland area, loves to sing, and has passion for our mission (visit http://www.singtolive.org) – SING WITH US!! Call 773-250-SING! Our season begins August 16, so call TODAY! We’d love to have you sing with us.
Breast cancer changed my life forever and in profound ways. I learned what was important in my life, learned to incorporate what I love in my life (things, people, work) and try to live each day to its fullest. Music has made my journey more joyful, hopeful, and worthwhile. Visit singtolive.org for more information about our chorus. If you live in the Chicagoland area, JOIN US!
For more information visit http://www.singtolive.org/
I also appreciate the support of others who have experienced breast cancer and music as a calming influence.
What really grabbed my attention though in this post was the fact that the Radiologist failed to actually cite a diagnosis to this patient up till the point where after radiation was mentioned as required, and only after you – the patient – actually made the conceptual link between that and breast cancer, then diagnosed your own condition correctly by name and then specifically asked the radiologist to confirm if this is what it was.
So – follow my train of logic here – if you were not well educated or informed enough to know the medical significance of radiation therapy and what it was likely to mean, does that mean your treating Radiologist would not have mentioned the actual diagnosis of breast cancer? Continued to treat you and keep you in ignorance of your real diagnosis?
I realise we are all different about how we want to be told about our diagnosis of breast cancer but I have huge ethical problems with a medical practitioner who is treating us not stating upfront to mentally competent adult patient the actual diagnosis when the medical practitioner is in possession of that medical diagnosis. Proceeding on to discussions about treatment – without ever mentioning the name of the disease until the point where the patients themselves correctly guesses what it is and names it themselves is bizarre to me. Would this radiologist have continued on to radiate you while carefully never stating the diagnosis. To run a radiology practice where this cone of silence descends so no one ever casually blurts out the phrase “breast cancer” must be difficult. How would they get you to sign consent forms or even give legally enforceable consent to radiation procedures unless they have given you an unambiguous diagnosis. “Abnormal cells” to me sounds like a radiologist who is working hard to avoid saying aloud the phrase “breast cancer”. We have a phrase in Australia for someone who side steps their normal professional responsibilities and uses deliberately obscure language to hide a unattractive truth – they are termed “weasel words” or phrases.
I too have had experience with radiologists and it seems the profession as a whole is committed to keeping patients uninformed about all sorts of things. I had to work my radiologist like a machine for an hour to drag the simplest if medical facts and statistics out of him that were pertinent to me being able to give informed consent or not to radiation. The thing I had to work him hardest on was the simplest – what were my statistical risk of dying from breast cancer with the radiation regime he was aggressively promoting and without it. Turns out after a substantial amount of verbal pressure he gave in and revealed what he had been working so hide to keep from me – and that was full blown radiation would only assist me with my particular form of breast cancer by a measly 2%. I have cross examined criminals in the witness box who were more forthcoming with information!
This Radiologists strenuous attempts to hide the true facts from from me and his slip sliding around using obscure language I felt deliberately in order to keep me ignorant had the effect of galvanising me into action – I decided then and there to thoroughly research every thing me said as well as why he was strongly and indeed coercively recommending the most drastic radiation regime when it offered such little benefit to me. Careful checking resulted in a host of other similarly significant slippages, evasions and shading of the facts which all had the cumulative effect of trying to frog march me in blind ignorance to the course of radiation he favoured. Which, as it turned out, was most definitely not the best course of action for me.
I later made enquiries amongst others who had received training in radiation and as they were friends, they admitted to me my suspicions were correct – that their training emphasized not telling patients the truth or facts and that they should only admit X or Y if the patient put it to them as a direct question and they had no other verbal gymnastics they could employ to evade answering it. When I asked about the ethics of this and the legal concept that deliberately hiding the facts from a competent adult patients meant, in law, any consent was invalidly obtained and they were committing assaults, the agreed it was true but their motivation was to keep patients uninformed so we would go along with their recommendations.
I would and did run a mile from any medical practitioner who treated me like this. I would always have in the back on my mind ” so what other pertinent medical facts does this medical practitioner consider they need to keep from me or only tell me about elliptically or confirm after I had already done their job for them and guessed correctly.” I can’t trust any medical practitioner who pays no heed to patient sovereignty via genuine commitment to the ethics and practice of informed consent. Of all the medical staff I have dealt with during my breast cancer diagnosis and treatment, the radiologists have the least developed ethical practices and seem to garner the most personal satisfaction from deliberately not informing patients. I cannot trust anyone treating me if I have to deal with them like a hostile witness. I want information to flow freely without needing to get them in a head lock and double nelson to get them to confirm the results of my own independent research.
I am fascinated to hear from a patient who enjoys the radiological approach that fills me with absolute horror.
Have you ever asked this radiologist if it is her normal practice not to tell patients their diagnosis until after they guess it and if so how does this fit with her ethical and legal obligations to secure informed consent OR was it something in your demenour that led to her to think this was what you wanted?
I would really appreciate knowing the answer as your recitation of the facts about this incident are so calm and matter of fact, yet as you can read from my post, set off all my alarm bells.
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Hi Coco,
Yep, my recitation of the facts are calm because her approach helped me in ways that I probably don’t even know. I’ve heard such horror stories on how people were told about their diagnosis. Everyone is different and needs to hear things differently. I’m not sure if I gave off the vibe of needing to hear it indirectly (which isn’t really not my normal style, so I doubt it). I didn’t feel it was a guessing game at all. I felt was a gentle way of getting to the heart of the matter.
7 years after my diagnosis, during my last annual mammogram ( March 2010), I asked if that radiologist was still at the hospital. When I was told she was, I asked to see her. They took me to her office where she showed me my recent results (clean again!). After that, I told her the real reason I wanted to see her was to thank her. She looked at me with such surprise and asked, ”Why?”. I recapped our conversation of 7 years earlier, and told her how much I appreciated her ‘indirect messaging’ of my diagnosis and how it helped me move forward in my journey as a patient and beyond. I hugged her and we went on our separate ways.
Happy HEALTHY New Year!
Melinda
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What a lovely story Melinda..thanks for responding to Coco’s comment. Wishing you a happy and healthy new year. Marie
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loved this story!
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What a wonderful story – this is definitely something i would love to see rolled out in more states and countries.
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Love your guest stories – it is so great to see how others have healed from their experience of cancer in so many different ways.
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Agree with Karen – I so enjoy these stories of recovery and moving on after cancer – they give someone like me who is slap bang in the middle of treatment hope for the future.
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What a totally inspiring post – this did me so much good to read today.
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I love to sing and this post really resonated with me too 🙂
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I am so pleased that you shared your story with us Melinda. A couple of years ago, I attended a Music and Medicine conference which opened my eyes to the healing power of music in our lives.
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There is great potential for music to be used in hospital environments, and shared news of recent research findings which, for the first time, have begun to explain why and how music can exert a positive impact on recovery for a wide spectrum of individuals, including those with cancer, asthma, autism, cystic fibrosis and epilepsy. It can also be helpful to those who must be weaned off mechanical ventilation in intensive care units, babies in neo-natal intensive care units, those bereaved and those experiencing significant communication difficulties after strokes.
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Great to read this post today which bears out recent scientific research documenting music’s benefits
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I am a big believer in the power of music to not just soothe the soul, but perhaps heal it. Research published in the Journal of the American Heart Association in 2009 showed that music directly affects the heart, arteries and lungs in ways that may be therapeutically useful.
Researchers in Italy who played random classical tracks to 24 volunteers found that music affected the participants’ bodies. Swelling crescendos increased blood pressure and heart and respiration rates, while relaxing passages did the opposite.
The music they were played included selections from Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony , an aria from Puccini’s Turandot , a Bach cantata, Va Pensiero from Verdi’s opera Nabucco , and Libiam Nei Lieti Calici from Verdi’s La Traviata . The volunteers also listened to a two-minute silent pause, during which their blood vessels dilated and heart rate and blood pressure reduced.
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Windsor Regional Hospital in Canada was one of the first to introduce a music therapy program in 2003 that included music in treatment plans in the hospital’s complex continuing care and cancer programs. It was a joint collaboration of the hospital, the Windsor Symphony Orchestra and the Music Therapy Centre at the University of Windsor’s School of Music.
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.A number of studies since the 1950’s indicate that music improves pain relief, enhances the quality of life for people who are ill and has a huge effect on a person’s mood. It is said that music creates an immune response that affects the patient physically, producing an emotional and cognitive response.I am fascinated by the subject of the power of music to heal, so it is really nice to read Melinda’s story
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I loved Melinda’s story – particularly her first sentence about her life being redirected – what a great line!
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Welcome to the club, Melinda! Love your positive attitude. Keep singing!
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I have always been a believer in the power of music. Your group sounds wonderful, Melinda. Thanks for sharing your story.
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I absolutely *love* this!
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I so wish I lived in the Chicago area so I could join your chorus. I love to sing and believe that music provides a therapeutic outlet of major proportions. Bless you for organizing this as a unique and beautiful way to support each other.
Jan
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Melinda,
Thank you for your excellent, moving posting. It’s great that you had music as your outlet to help you cope with breast cancer. I know that the arts — any kind of arts — are soothing to the soul, especially in time of crisis.
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Thanks Beth. For me, I find that poetry helps soothe my soul.
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