Night Sea Journey
The period of greatest gain in knowledge and experience is the most difficult period in ones life. ~ Dalai Lama
When I was a child, I would spend hours by myself getting lost in a world of story books. One of the books I pored over was a children’s bible and one of the stories that really captured my imagination was the story of Jonah inside the body of a large fish, popularly thought to be a whale.
My understanding of the story is that Jonah was ordered by God to go to the city of Nineveh to prophesy against it. Jonah wasn’t happy with this, so he decides to flee from “the presence of the Lord” by sailing to Tarshish, which, geographically, is 180 degrees in the opposite direction.
A huge storm arises and the sailors, realizing this is no ordinary storm, cast lots and learn that Jonah is to blame, throwing him overboard, at which point the sea calms. Jonah is miraculously saved by being swallowed by a large fish specially prepared by God where he spent three days and three nights, before it spewed him out on dry land.
In Thomas Moore’s Dark Nights of the Soul the story of Jonah is recounted by the author who explains:
Because the story is associated with the sun setting in the west and traveling underwater to the east to rise in the morning, this theme is sometimes called the “Night Sea Journey.” It is a cosmic passage taken as a metaphor for our own dark nights, when we are trapped in a mood or by external circumstances and can do little but sit and wait for liberation.
Moore goes on to write:
Imagine that your..suffering, is a large, living container in which you are help captive. But this container is moving, getting somewhere, taking you to where you need to go. You may not like the situation you’re in but it would help if you imagined it constructively. Maybe at this very minute you are on a night sea journey of your own.
I find this metaphor really striking and it makes me think back to being in the midst of my cancer treatment. I remember feeling as if time had been reduced to round after interminable round of chemotherapy punctuated by an interlude of recovery between the sessions, before going through it all again. I felt as if I was in suspended animation during those months, that life as I knew it had stagnated. And yet, something was happening – the big fish was moving slowly forward, in quiet motion, calmly riding the waves, carrying me towards a new life. I was being shaped by this experience in ways I didn’t yet understand.
Something was incubating in me as I sat in the womb like body of the whale. It was a time of waiting and trusting – trusting that the toxic medicine which was making me so sick, was also curing me of the cancer.Trusting that I was being prepared in some way for a new life. I just love what Moore says about this mythical night journey:
In your dark night you may have a sensation you could call “oceanic” – being in the sea, at sea….The sea is the vast potential of life, but it is also your dark night, which may force you to surrender some knowledge you have achieved….The night sea journey takes you back to your..original self, yourself as a sea of possibility, your greater and deeper being…By riding the wave of your dark night, you are more yourself, moving toward who you are meant to be.
Are you on a night sea journey of your own? Do metaphors, symbols and images help you to make sense of what you are experiencing in life? While those around you expect you to make sense of your experience in practical or medical terms, can you go beyond this and find a deeper understanding of who you are and what you are going through right now whatever that difficulty might be?
I definitely find a deeper understanding in my difficulties. I find silver linings and beautiful remnants that shine through the tears. Struggles have a way of proving your character and integrity. Exploring the depths of your feelings lends an incredible beauty to the experience. Thanks for this wonderful piece.
XOXO,
Jan
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I am so pleased that it resonates with you Jan..you are very much in my thoughts at this time. M. x
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Reading this post today was for me an aha! moment – it helped to crystallise a lot of what I have been feeling right now as I try to search for the deeper meaning behind my own dark night of the soul.
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So glad that it gave you your aha moment David
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Thank you so much for sharing such a beautiful post with us.
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You are very welcome Alison – so happy you enjoyed it.
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I find metaphors hugely helpful – my favorite is the butterfly emerging from the chrysalis and a Zen quote:
“What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the butterfly calls the beginning”.
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I love this image of the butterfly too Caroline 🙂
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I am currently going through treatment for prostate cancer and one of the hardest struggles for me psychologically has been to learn patience. I am a fixer, a doer, and all this enforced sitting around, doing nothing has been driving me crazy. But reading this today has helped me shift my perspective – what if I could learn to just sit with the seemingly nothingness and trust that I am moving forward and something is happening. Not sure if that will be easy for me, but I am willing to be open to the possiblity now.
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No it’s not easy Alan – I struggle with this too..but just being open to the possibility that there is another way to be with the pain is the first step. Good luck!
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I would say to anyone going through their own dark night right now to honor your own timing, and trust that you are being transformed in something more real, more essentially who you were born to be.
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That’s beautiful Pam – thanks for sharing with us.
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I am currently reading a book “The Spirituality of Imperfection” which I think you would also like and this line stood out for me and I thought it was relevant to your post today:
“Spirituality is discovered in that space between paradox’s extremes, for there we confront our helplessness and powerlessness, our woundedness.”
Sitting in the belly of the whale, we learn to confront our own powerlessness and ultimately our sacredness and spirituality.
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Hi Garry, that is a great quote – I appreciate you sharing it with us today.
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I love the old bible stories, native american lore and the greek myths and legends.We have lost the art of story-telling but we still return again and again to the wisdom of the ancients to help us make sense of our universal pain and angst.
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I too love the ancient wisdom and draw great comfort and insight from them
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We have also lost the art of patience and foreberance which our ancestors has – we demand immediate answers and solutions to our problems – or else we self- medicate them away. . But feelings of dislocation, isolation, and emotional pain still persist, as they always have. Modern technology doesn’t provide us with solutions – as Angela says, we need to return to the wisdom of the ancients and learn again what they have known since the dawn of time.
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I agree with the comments which have touched on the inability of modern man and woman to deal with suffering with forebearance. Many of our ancestors had that skill and we’ve lost it in addictions to work, drugs, alcohol, the internet or food. Or we deny the pain and push ourselves relentlessly forward. As a result, we know a great deal about how to push through our fears and feelings to attempt to achieve our goals, but we know precious little about how to suffer gracefully and productively when we are up against forces we cannot control.
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I love the wisdom of the ancients too. Jonah tried to escape, to flee his destiny, but destiny swallowed him deep into the mysterious depths of the whale. Food for thought indeed!
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A lot of our pain in life comes from fighting our destiny, our fate – the story of Jonah makes me realise that sometimes you need to just surrender to it – not in a helpless way – but in order to gain some new perspective and to allow life to move you forward of its own velocity and toward the direction you need to move in.
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Carl I agree with you on the principle of surrendering rather than pushing through. Sometimes when we loosen our grip on wanting things to be the way we want them to be, we can open ourselves to our true destiny
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Sometimes the best thing to do for ourselves is to give up control, surrender to the unknowing, listen for whatever sounds wisdom are trying to be heard.
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The philosopher Rollo May believed our lives are like water flowing to the sea. Without your disappointments, your duties and responsibilities pressing against your dreams, giving shape and direction to your destiny, you could never reach the sea.
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I never thought of the story of Jonah in these terms before, but it makes perfect sense to me right now.I hope when I emerge from my own sea journey, I will find myself transformed into a truer expression of who you I am really meant to be.
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The great stories and myths of many cultures help us by firing our imagination and helping us to identify with the universal human condition and gain new perspective on our own situation.
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I have also read Moore’s book several times, and reading this post, today, I went back to the book and looked up this chapter. One of the sentences I underlined is
“in the midst of a tempest of your own, you may discover how to keep your vision clear and allow your own night journey to define your life”. It is a comforting and empowering thought that I return to again and again in my own dark nights.
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We have lost a sense of the divine mysteriousness of life and these ancient stories help us to reconnect with some of what we have lost.
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I too went back to read this chapter of Moore’s book today after reading this. I had been given the book by a wonderul spiritual friend when I was diangosed with cancer 4 years ago. At the time, these lines stood out for me and were a powerful anchor as I went through my treatment.
“Medicine and psychology, like many other institutions in modern life, prefer the understandable and treatable case to the irreducible individual. They can imagine restoring you to good functioning, but they can’t envision fulfilling your fate and discovering the meaning of your life. “
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Your dark night of the soul, your night sea journey, call it what you will, it can be a wonderful gift if you learn to embrace it. Like others have said, going through cancer was a long, boring, frustrating, painful, anxious time, but when I learned to stop fighting it, and chose instead to embrace this time of enforced waiting, I blossomed. I took up painting and discovered a way to express myself and heal myself I would never have otherwise tried. You might like to journal or write or meditate or just simply sit and reflect – whatever you choose to do with this time, honor what you need to care for your soul and your well-being. Blessings to all x
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Your dark night is both your pain and your deliverance – Thomas Moore
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Thank you for this beautiful reflection which I have found very powerful and moving – also everyone’s comments have really inspired me too to look at my present circumstances through a different lens.
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Thanks everyone for your powerful and insightful comments – they have really added a lot to this discussion.
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It makes total sense… During my journey I’ve been asking for guidance to let me know the reason, the what for?, learning along the way, trying to find meaning. Permission Marie to translate it into my mother tongue, Spanish, for individual purposes, which to share it with other patients. Should wait your response. Thanks.
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Vilma, of course, I would be very happy for you to translate it and share it with whoever you feel will benefit from reading it.
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Love this post Maries, once again you have given me much food for thought. I am on a bit of a ‘night sea journey’ right now and I am trying to sit back in the belly of the whale and trust that God has a plan for me and be open to the possibilities without questioning every little thing. Also I am working on realizing that I will not have the answer to everything that happens in my life and that is okay, just trust and be open and embrace what comes my way.
Xx Deb
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This & Sarah’s post on your roundup remind me of some ruminating I did on the metamorphosis of butterflies — the chrysalis is also a crucible for us — but we can emerge anew. Beautiful retelling of the story of Jonah.
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Marie,
This is a brilliant posting! I love the sea and Biblical whale metaphor that you use and love these lines: “And yet, something was happening – the big fish was moving slowly forward, in quiet motion, calmly riding the waves, carrying me towards a new life. I was being shaped by this experience in ways I didn’t yet understand.”
We do get carried toward a certain life, don’t we?
I have so many metaphors in my head, but if I were to venture on a water motif, I would have to say that the cancer experience for me has been like swimming against the tide, making progress, but huge, wavy hurdles to overcome.
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What a wonderful post, Marie. I have never thought of the Jonah story quite in this way before, but it’s a perfect image somehow of the cancer journey isn’t it? I have indeed felt “swallowed up” at times by cancer. It’s hard sometimes to just keep the faith and continue believing we are moving forward, but it’s what we all do every day, cancer or not.
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My impatience so often gets in my way…. It is a challenge to rest in the not knowing and way for the unfolding.
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and a BIG challenge for me!
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Great and thoughtful post, Marie. For me, metaphors help show me the deeper meaning of what’s happening.
I feel like my old life has been swallowed up by my cancer experience. I am still very much in the belly of the beast, and scared that I am being taken to the edge of a waterfall that I cannot navigate. Trust — that is a biggie for me. Trusting my doctors, trusting my body to heal, trusting that I have made good decisions, and that I can get to the other side of this hill. And of course wanting it all to happen more quickly than it is. Patience. Yes, another biggie!
Thanks for this post, my friend.
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Great comment Renn! I do think that a diagnosis of cancer shatters our sense of trust in our bodies and that is a tough thing to rebuild..but rebuild it we can with time and compassion.
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