A letter from America
“Let us never underestimate the power of a well-written letter.”
~ Karen Joy Fowler, The Jane Austen Book Club
I love social networking. I love logging on to Facebook, Twitter and the blogosphere and swapping ideas, discussing the news, the day-to-day activities of online friends, learning more about advocacy and breast cancer. I am a big fan of online interactions and as you know some of these online friendships have become friends off-line too. Of course more of an effort is required to meet offline and sometimes it can be easier to log onto a computer than make that effort (though I am always so happy when I do make the effort!).
Some friends are too far away to be able to meet up in person, but you can still have the next best thing – a hand-written letter or note. Whatever happened to that practice of writing a note and sending it to a friend to let them know you are thinking about them? Has the ease with which we interact online made us too lazy and thoughtless or does the gesture seem too old-fashioned and self-conscious nowadays?
I received just such a note recently all the way from America and reading the hand-written words, my whole day was turned around. That someone would go to the effort of buying a card, sitting down and writing it and then mailing it, well it just lifted my spirits more than any tweet or Facebook message (much as I love those too).
The card sits on my kitchen windowsill and each time I see it I smile. I think of the person who wrote the card and how her well-wishing seems all the more real because of the effort it took to send the card. I’ve read and treasured her kind words more than once and seeing them in her own hand-writing has made it all the more personal and special.
So who is this wonderful card sender?
Her name is Debbie and we met online two years ago and knowing how much I love the poetry of Mary Oliver, she sent me her local church bulletin with a poem of Oliver’s on it. She popped it into a card with some lovely words. Debbie has sent me several cards over the past two years and each time I get one, it is a wonderful surprise and a joy. As I write these words, I am suddenly conscious that I have never returned the gesture – why? Perhaps I’ve been lazy, thoughtless, too preoccupied. But sometimes, an old-fashioned hand-written note is just what we would most love to receive to make us feel loved.
Norman Vincent Peale once said that the purpose of writing inspirational notes is simply “to build others up because there are too many people in the demolition business today.” So, who would you like to build up today? Who around you deserves a note of thanks, of support, or a just because you’re special card? Why not send them one today and let them know you are thinking of them.
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around ~ Leo Buscaglia
What a lovely post 🙂
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Thank you for wriitng about this. I have long been an advocate of taking pen to paper – a forgotten art I fear- and this just hit the perfect note for me reading it today.
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Your post made me think about when the last time I received a hand-written note was and I remembered it was the death of my mother 2 years ago. I really did treasure those cards and letters and their words of comfort and sympathy.
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With the advent of email and texting it seems that letter writing is a dying art – and our lives and our relationships are the poorer for it.
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A lovely story Marie. I think the reason that Debbie’s gesture moved you so much is that the effort it takes to purchase, write and mail a card puts a special value on you as the person to whom she is writing. To prioritise someone as important enough to take time from a busy life to write a personal note to is a beautiful thing and I hope your post encourages more people to do the same.
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Email communication cannot replace the joy of receiving a handwritten note or letter in the mail. Our handwriting is unique to us and an expression of ourselves and that also gives the card an added value. It’s a wonderful way to show someone how special to you they are.
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We are living in a society that moves at such a tecnologically fast pace that it is very easy to spend too much time communicating electronically but your post has really made me remember again the value of taking time to show someone you care about them by sending a hand-written note.
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Like you, getting a handwritten note in the mail is a wonderful surprise and a joyful thing and I too treasure these cards and keep them in a place I can see them. I’ve yet to print out a similar email and pin it to my kitchen noticeboard!
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A handwritten card harks back to a gentler, more thougtful time where people cared more. I would love to see this resurrected again, but alas I fear it is a art in decline.
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I have a friend who has the most beautiful handwriting and lucky for me sends lovely hand written cards which are a joy to behold. it is sad to think that her gift is a rarity nowadays when handwriting is not valued anymore – is it even taught in school these days?
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It makes me sad to see that the art of writing a letter has become out moded and old fashioned. Email will never replace the beauty of a handwitten letter.
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While I ove the speed of e-mail for exchanging information and keeping in touch with friends, I still send cards and letters every now and then to friends – and I intend to keep on doing it.
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Who doesn’t like to get something in their mailbox besides bills and junk? You are so right, there is nothing so lovely as getting a hand written note in the mail – lucky you to have such a kind and caring friend who knows how to value friendship.
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Lovely post, I rem when I first moved to the UK and I used to love getting letters from friends and family esp if they came on a Saturday morning as I’d jump back into bed and read them there, greedily devouring every little bit of news.
Yes, we seem to see email etc as free but a card and a stamp as money, even sending e cards now whereas you’re right, a physical card means so much more – lovely post as always Marie 🙂
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Wonderful and lovely post. I love to receive hand written notes and certainly need to send more.
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You are so right, Marie. I just got a short, but heartfelt thank you note. I didn’t expect it and the words, thanking me for giving a survivorship speech in June, really filled my heart. After my mastectomy, I became a prolific thank you email writer – I was so grateful to so many people. Next time I write thank you’s, I’ll go that one step further and write them by hand.
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Thank you so much for this beautiful honor! I love to send a hand written note, especially to someone who is so far away. But sometimes I even send them to my dear friends who live nearby. There is just something so personal and meaningful when you take the time and thought to send a special card. I guess maybe it feels more intentional than email, online chats, or twitter. I love the connections I have made online but when you take he time to think specifically about a person and put in the effort as you say of buying the card, writing the note, adding something personal that to know the person enjoys, buy a stamp, and drop it in the mail, there just seems to be so much more intention behind the act of communicating. And there definitely is something so fun about getting a surprise in the mailbox! I am so glad my notes to you have meant so much, because you mean so much to me and that means the cards are doing what they were ‘intended’ to do!
Lots of love to you, Deb xx
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Marie, thank you for sharing this lovely story. You and Deb have a wonderful friendship. And long live the handwritten note! A tradition worth keeping and cherishing in this era of instant communication.
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Marie,
What a wonderful post and what a wonderful friendship. I agree there is something really special about an actual handwritten note. And “real” mail is great fun to receive. It is hard to sometimes know if asking for someone’s address is over-stepping though in this online world. Sometimes that feels like getting too personal, so I think we would send more handwritten notes if we felt comfortable asking for that info.
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Very true, Marie. We seldom take the time to pen those thoughtful words that will just make someone’s day. I have had people call me to thank me for my handwritten card or note, and I had forgotten I had even sent it. I try to stay on top of cards, but it gets hard with the busyness of life.
Thanks for this great post, which reminds me I need to send a card to a friend of mine.
Jan
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It’s always special to get a handwritten letter or card. And all this online communication, which is instant and which we take for granted, just makes it even more special. This made me smile. You two are so lucky to be friends, and we are lucky to know you both.
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Just been reading through all your comments…thank you everyone and thank you Deb M. most of all for your friendship xxx
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Marie,
I love this posting. Yes, it seems the art of the hand-written letter is almost no more. However, I have a great friend with great handwriting (unlike mine), and we do use snail mail. It is such a charge to receive her letters.
Thank you for such an insightful posting.
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Thanks for your comment Beth..I have terrible handwriting..I don’t have to write anymore, everything is all typing, so it is a double treat to get something from a friend with beautiful penmanship..another dying art I fear.
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a dear friend who lived far away sent me a handwritten card *every* week i was in treatment — over 15 months worth of notes! she has a young child and cares for her elderly parents, in addition to working full time. she couldn’t physically be there with me, but her cards gave me something precious to hold onto during that trying time.
thank you for this tribute to the beauty of a handwritten note!
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What a wonderful gesture of friendship and love from your friend Lani..thanks for sharing your own story of the joy of receiving hand written cards.
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How wonderful, Marie. Taking the time to write a note and send it off brings images of life with a slower pace, doesn’t it? I’ll remember you and Debbie for this next I want to do something special. Thank you for sharing.
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