Back home again…

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Holding on to the memories

 

 Hi everyone. Did you miss me?? Well, I am back home again, tired, jet-lagged, with a suit case overflowing with laundry and bits and pieces picked up at the mall, and a heart overflowing with wonderful memories of our time in Florida.  

We enjoyed the sunshine, the blue skies, days spent together on the beach, reading and relaxing under the shade of the cabana, with the sound of the ocean waves pounding against the shore. As the sun set, we grilled fish or chicken for our dinner, eating it with sunshine yellow fresh corn on the cob; sitting late into the night, enjoying the warmth of the summer evening, listening to the chirping of the crickets..and feeling that all our troubles and daily irritations were far, far away.  

So, now that we are home, how do we hold on to those magical feelings?  How do we bring that same attitude of peace and relaxation into our daily lives at home? How come I can stop worrying and fretting about things while I am on holiday? Those things haven’t gone away, but I have ceased to give them my attention. Can I learn to do that everyday? It was so easy to just live in the moment, senses heightened to the heat of the sun on my body, the warm sand beneath my toes, the sound of the waves crashing..completely giving in to the feeling of pure aliveness and presence.  

And that loving, relaxed, happy husband with me…well he bears little resemblance to the stressed out and short-tempered man I fight with at home and he would surely say the same of me! It is like going back to the early days of our courtship when we reserved our brightest smiles, our most loving gestures and total focus just for each other..it is like falling in love with your beloved all over again. How can we hold on to this precious feeling?  

Being diagnosed with cancer felt a little like these vacation feelings. My senses were heightened, my everyday worries seemed suddenly less important, loved ones became more precious. And when I finished treatment, resumed “normal” life again, I slowly crept back into my old habits, just as I fear I will do now that I am back home after my holiday.  

And so today, I am writing this post to remind myself that those holiday feelings are just as possible to access at home if I choose to. Things don’t always have to be so planned and organized as I make them at home, there is still room for a little spontaneity in everyday life. Surely,  I don’t need to spend all my time worrying and fussing and stressing over life’s irritations? I can be that loving, attentive wife more often, can’t I?  

I came back home with so many special memories of our holiday abroad, but the most precious of all is that feeling of love and happiness which was there all along… I had just forgotten where to find it.

Category : Personal Reflections
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