Dealing with life’s disappointments
“The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way”. ~ Robert Kiyosaki
I so wanted to tell you all that I had won an award in the Irish Blog Awards last weekend, but I can’t, because I didn’t. I am not going to pretend that I am not disappointed, because I am, or rather I was at the time (well I am only human after all), and when you sit in a room full of people and your blog is flashed up on a screen in front, and for one heart-stopping moment you think it might be you…..and then… you hear another name read out instead….well, it is hard not to feel some sense of disappointment. And even worse… a feeling I wasn’t expecting, one that whispered to me, that I had let you all down. All of you who have encouraged me and lifted me along this blogger’s journey over the past year. But isn’t that just my pesky old ego whispering in my ear?
So now, what do I always do at moments like this? I look for the lesson..oh and a quote or two of course. Regular readers will be familiar with author and blogger Therese Borchard, whose wise words I often quote here. Serendipitously, Therese’s most recent blog post 21 Ways to Overcome Disappointment, is on just this very topic of dealing with life’s disappointments. Therese writes that “the human experience is an exercise in collecting disappointments and mistakes, ruminating on them for a little bit, and turning them into wisdom and growth”.
Now in the grand scheme of things, last weekend’s disappointment is minor. “Man must be disappointed with the lesser things of life before he can comprehend the full value of the greater”, wrote Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton and I have certainly learned that to be true. I quickly realised that I already have the best prize of all gained through this blog – the friendship and support of so many new friends.
But, I never want to waste a learning opportunity, so what piece of wisdom have I gained from this particular disappointment? Well, I have learned that I am more competitive than I realised, and too attached to the outcome. I need to learn a little more detachment. And if life is all about balance, and I truly believe it is, we need to have our moments of winning balanced by moments of losing. So does this mean that I am saying we should just accept losing at times and not try to be the best that we can be? Not at all. Learning to strive, to win, to achieve your dreams can only be achieved by trying to win. I feel this even more keenly since cancer. I am more motivated to give everything I do in life my total commitment and effort.
So tell me, what do you think? Have you been dealing with any disappointments lately, and what have you learned from it? How do you turn life’s lemons into lemonade? I would love for you share your wisdom here with us.
I’m gutted you didn’t win, you should have done. You haven’t let anyone down pet, far from it, you are such an inspiration. In my eyes you won 🙂 xx
Oh sweetie, magnumlady is right! How could you feel you let anyone down??? You are a silly old thing! You lift us up when we are down, you bring laughter and healing tears into our lives. You are full of compassion and empathy. You ARE a winner. We love you xxxx
I absolutely endorse all that magnumlady and Stefanie have said to you and I will offer you a quote, because we know you love your quotes 🙂
“Disappointment to a noble soul is what cold water is to burning metal; it strengthens, tempers, intensifies, but never destroys it.” Eliza Tabor
And your soul IS the very essence of a noble soul which cannot be destroyed xx
Marie, you are a shining light in the lives of so many of us. I am not sure everyone who reads this blog realizes what you do behind the scenes. You take the time to make contact with those you feel are in need of extra care when they leave a comment..I know because I was one of those women. You go out of your way to help them and to connect them with those you think might be able to help..and you don’t forget them. You check in regularly to see how they are doing. You lifted me up at a stage in my treatment when I was really despairing and I will never forget what you did for me. A noble soul? I’ll say so!!
Another fantastic post which speaks to so many of us!
This is a very timely post for myself. I have been dealing with a LOT of disappointment lately, but like yourself, I always try to look at the lesson learned from my disappointments. The past few days have brought me a lot of soul searching. I am a firm believer of picking myself up and carrying on, quitting is not my nature. Although at some times it’s easier than others and easier said then done, I still power through.
This is a great post.
You ARE always a WINNER in our eyes! The time and love you have invested in others is a gift that you have blessed us all with…your blogs are a constant inspiration (and educational). Thank you!!
How do I handle life’s dissappointments? Interesting question…when I was handed the cancer card, I told my children “yup, we were handed the bad card, but its how we play the game that counts. We decided to play the game to WIN!!!”
Your blogs are fantastic!
Oh and one more very important thing….just because you didn’t win that award, doesn’t make your blog any less powerful. You have done so much for so many across world, not just Ireland, you should be very proud. Let anyone down? Not likely at all. I for one am very honored to call you friend and have the pleasure of reading your blog on a daily basis.
From what I understand, disappointment comes from a failure in expectation. Expectation is born from a sense of buoyant ego, and a sublime sense of superiority over others. This breeds impatience in the mind of the individual and takes him away from a balanced view of life and perception of all things.
Over time, this urge for recompense alters the behaviour and approach to how one perceives his dutiful work. Slowly, the focus is drawn away from the process of the activity and to the prize that awaits upon completion. Dedication to job and conformity to quality slowly dwindles in pursuance of greed.
The only thing that comes out of disappointment is a dissatisfied, disgruntled being. One at war with self. To me it is the most pitiable state a person can be.
Never let the disappointment of Galway affect you an iota. You have achieved more in an year that many could do in their lifetime. You have stood out as a beacon of hope for thousands, if not millions and have been a stellar champion for the cause this blog pertains to.
Let others enjoy this one Marie. Bigger things awaits you for future.
With my very best wishes. 🙂
Wow Marie – your posts are fantastic but I am always blown away by the comments you receive afterwards. I find myself reading and wondering what will happen in the comments section after this!
Nothing more to add except that the comments and the support you have here speaks volumes!
Marie, this is a great post and timely for me as well. I felt that when I didn’t perform to my own expectations at the half-marathon I was letting all my freinds down. But that was definitely just a piece of the pie. I too felt my ego pulling at me and know that I am competitive, perhaps most of all with myself. And I too looked for the lessons afterward.
I must say that in a way I feel like the fact that I am looking for the lesson so quickly after a disappointment that I am ‘getting better’. I am becoming more self aware and trying to grow. This new awareness makes me happy and I found it here as I read your words. I will also be going to read Therese’s blog post. Thanks for sharing and helping me make more connections:)
I’d say I share your disappointment except for one very important thing.
What you provide in the way of wisdom, help and companionship renders awards somewhat incidental.
You shine a light where none shone before and do it so eloquently and with so much love.
It is obvious even to a male what an invaluable resource you provide.
For me, you are and always will be a champion.
Wow guys, what can I say. I’ve been reading your comments over the past hour and struggling to find the words to express how I feel and for once, I’m rendered speechless by the depth of your wisdom, compassion and support. I knew I could rely on it, but you’ve surpassed all my expectations this time! I am particularly moved by the wisdom in your comments – you have enriched the theme of this post immeasurably. Thank you seems so inadequate, but I will say it anyway.Thank you all!!!
“Your friends are your estate” wrote Emily Dickinson, but they are also your richest prize and today I feel the richest winner ever!
I’ve been noodling about doing a post on this for some time, so thank you for your thoughts here! I agree with the others that the prize is nice, but you have won something infinitely more important – exposure and publicity for your blog. This is not to be underestimated – people have had publishing deals as a result of such publicity. That would be a fantastic thing to happen, so no, you did not waste time by attending the event!
I had a bad disappointment about two months ago when something I thought was mine for the taking and which I truly deserved evaded me. I would like to say I was calm and zen but in truth I…er, wasn’t. But then if I just lay down and took it I wouldn’t have the redemptive anger to keep pushing onwards. (Not that I recommend anger. Bad for the blood pressure etc.)
Thank you for your thoughts and while acknowledging you are disappointed I truly believe you haven’t lost anything here and may well benefit a lot in the long run.
A)You know your blog rocks…and while it would have been nice to win…not having your name called means very little…because…well…your blog rocks. I am always amazed at how can write so many things, so quickly, and so intelligently.
B)Disappointment? Perspective. It’s the most important thing to remember when disappointment happens. How we look at our situation afterwards changes everything. We’ve all been there…what seemed “good” turned out to be not so good. (Be careful what you wish for…) Or what was “bad”…well you get the idea. Perspective. That’s the ticket.
C)On that note…seriously…you are a premier blogger now. Well…you always were…but now you’ve been recognized. That’s a cool feeling I’ll bet.
D)Your blog rocks. (So there.)
WOW Marie, I agree with all of the above, in our eyes you have won.
Carry on doing what you’re doing, you are a winner to us!
btw linked to you from mine – hope that is all right 🙂
Hi Marie, Sitting beside you the other night, I knew how nervous you were and then the disappointment. It shows how hard we are on ourselves as we push ourselves towards the ultimate success yet getting to the finalists was an amazing achievement and as all these comments say – you’re a winner to all your readers and all those you help.
Marie, As I have read each of the comments to this wonderful transparent post you wrote I nod at each of them and say “absolutely… I agree!”
You are a winner in my eyes. Why?? Because you try, you keep on trying and you don’t give up! You are innovative and your website is so balanced it gave me hope a few short months ago that this cancer journey doesn’t have to be all doom and gloom. You have brought a smile to my face for sure!
Now this is a big deal…You were nominated, and you experienced a wonderful evening that we didn’t get the priviledge of being at and you handled youself with grace throughout the process! (And we would still like to see some pictures regardless 🙂 And to top it off my goodness you have an international following:) Now that is cool!
Over your disappointment now??? 🙂
You’re my winner..my heroine..I’m so proud of you. 🙂
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