Why do we resist meditation?
I’ve already fallen by the wayside regarding one of my New Year’s resolutions… my daily commitment to meditation is wavering. I know how important it is for me personally to have a daily practise and yet here I am a few weeks into the New Year resisting the very thing I need. So, it was very helpful to read a recent blog post by Mary Maddux at Meditation Oasis offering some insight on why we resist meditation.
Mary advises that the first place to start is to investigate for yourself why you resist. “It can help you get in touch with what the resistance is all about and lead to valuable insights. Often when we become conscious of the feelings and beliefs that underlie our behavior, we can find ways to make changes.” she writes.
“I suspect that the reason for the resistance may be different for different people, but a couple of possibilities come to mind. It may simply be the momentum in our busy lives that keeps us moving at fast speed, as well as our culture which is telling us to do, do, do.
Our culture doesn’t recognize a very fundamental principle, and that is that being rested and relaxed is the most important key to being creative and productive. Getting things done is equated with putting in time. With this deeply ingrained idea, we often don’t give ourselves permission to take time out for meditation. And then when we do take the time, the mind and and body are in such high gear that we feel restless. You may sit to meditate and find yourself feeling like you have to get up and go. Meditating requires that we be prepared for that and continue to experience the restlessness and let it unwind.
The resistance can also be emotional. All of our busyness keeps us from feeling things we don’t want to feel. Meditation gets us in touch with our inner experience, including our emotions. If there is something going on in our lives that troubles us or we are not comfortable with certain emotions, we may tend to avoid meditation. And yet, to be truly relaxed and present, which are both goals of meditation, we have to be able to experience our emotions.”
It is good to know from reading Mary’s post and also some of the comments on her blog, that I am not alone in resisting meditation. Some commentators cite the ego, some judging themselves, some restlessness, some lack of discipline as reasons for resisting. I can identify with all of these reasons and perhaps Judith’s comment that “it almost seems like I am being self-indulgent when I sit and and meditate when I could be doing “other things” ” rings the most true for me.
The conclusion of Judith’s comment has inspired me to start again with my daily practise, for as she says: ” I absolutely know in my heart that my meditation is a sacred time and I should give it the respect and honour it deserves….. I am going to allow myself to be more open to the flow of love and tranquility in my daily life.”
Do not forget that we meditate in many ways throughout the day. Taking the time to write this blog is a method of meditation. Taking the time to read something that touches or inspires or quiets our heart and mind is a method of meditation. For some of us, cooking is meditation. Or running, or cycling, or knitting. Moments of quiet that we choose to gift to ourselves are methods of meditation. Those moments are Spiritual in that they bring us joy, focus, quiet, peace, comfort etc. So, don’t fret to much if you do not find each day moments to concentrate on your Spirituality. You find moments throughout EVERY day to be your Spiritual Womanly Self. Just take note more often of these ;-))
I Love you Marie!!
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Thank you Taiya for reminding me of this xxxx
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great post – which I really needed to read today. has given me a renewed sense of purpose and resolve now. thanks for posting
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Dear Marie,
I see where you going with this blog: I think everyone needs some time to get some peace and quiet and get away from everyday stress. For you that might be meditation, for me it is my “cycling”. Every day when I get home from work I do the time I’m “requiered” to do and that times gives me the opportunity to clear my head and forget the stress of the workday. The physical work requiers all my attention and strength and that brings me totally back to me. Maybe you need to find that one thing that does it for you, so you don’t “resist” meditation anymore. Thanks again for this eyeopener. You are amazing. Annemieke
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You hit the nail right on the head, and so did Mary. One piece of the puzzle that I offer is the principle of momentum. Every beginners’ book on meditation states that regularity is important. Meditate consistently at consistent times, even just for a few minutes, and you create a momentum for a meditative state of mind.
Every practice has what I call an “integration strategy” and a “warm up strategy”. An Muslims pray 5 times per day as a group. This is an integration strategy. Some Buddhists try to do their daily activities in a calm and mindful manner, including the chewing of food and the offering of thanks for food. Office Yoga pracitioners take a minute or two out of each hour to stretch, chant or perform breathing exercises.
These are integration strategies.
Make a list of things that are grounding, balancing, centering and that personally bring you to a special place within. This could be a song, a peace prayer, a mantra, an exercise which brings feeling back into the body. Interweave these throughout the day. An immense amount of intelligent activity is going on behind the scenes as you do this. It builds up below the level of consciousness. Then, suddenly, after a couple days or a couple weeks, a quantum leap occurs. Meditation suddenly becomes much easier. Then, it become easier to follow Mary’s advice and examine yourself. It also becomes easier to hold onto a consistent practice.
Also, do not forget warm ups. This can be prayer, stretching, breathing, visualizations – anything which calms the chatter of the mind and contributes to a calm and alert state.
I’ve written extensively about this throughout the internet, in case anyone wishes to look for it.
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Thank you so much Tom for taking the time to leave this very helpful comment. Much appreciated!
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