On Navigating Grief and Cancer

Checking my August Awareness Day Calendar, I discovered that today, August 30th is designated as Grief Awareness Day. Sometimes I feel we are awash with grief in our community.  Not just in our own lives but also in the grief that rubs off on us when we read about the pain of another in the blogosphere and when we lose another blogger to this disease. 

There will be times we will think we have our grief under control and then we will find ourselves ambushed by hearing snatches of a song or catching a scent from a passer-by that evokes our loved one. The writer Colette captured this so well when she wrote:

It’s so curious: one can resist tears and ‘behave’ very well in the hardest hours of grief.  But then someone makes you a friendly sign behind a window, or one notices that a flower that was in bud only yesterday has suddenly blossomed, or a letter slips from a drawer… and everything collapses.

Grieving Cancer Losses

Grief is a natural response to loss. While many people think of grief only as a reaction to bereavement, we can feel grief after any kind of loss. When we step back and look at the cancer experience we see that grief and loss are a fundamental part of it.

Some of our losses are tangible, for example, losing our hair, and some are more intangible, such as the loss of trust in our bodies. Coping with the losses associated with cancer is challenging.  Grief brings many emotions with it. Patients, as well as caregivers and family members, may go through emotions of anger, denial, and sadness.

While there is no right or wrong way to grieve, there are healthy ways to cope with the pain and sadness that, in time, can help you come to terms with your loss, find new meaning, and move on with your life.

In this article, Grief, Loss, and the Cancer Experience, I share some ways to cope with cancer grief.

There is no timetable for grief, yet so often we push ourselves to ‘get over’ our grief as quickly as possible.  Grief must be allowed to unfold naturally. True healing begins with acknowledging and sitting with the pain, the frustration, and the sadness. Like waves crashing on the shore, these emotions may come in unpredictable waves. At times, they may be overwhelming, threatening to engulf us. In other moments, they may be gentle, lapping at the edges of our awareness.

It takes courage to acknowledge the pain, frustration, and sadness cancer can bring. By granting ourselves permission to experience these emotions fully, without judgment or rush, we create a space for self-compassion and understanding.

How have you allowed yourself to experience and process the various emotions that come with a cancer diagnosis? In what ways have you found solace in acknowledging and embracing your grief, rather than rushing through it?