Weekly Round-Up
In a week which has seen our BC blogging community reeling from the death of two of our most fearless and beloved bloggers, Rachel and Susan, this week’s round-up is dedicated exclusively to them.
The #hcsmca twitter chat which took place during the week concerned what happens to our social media presence when we die. What kind of digital footprint are we leaving behind? Well, we have witnessed that in action with the passing of Rachel and Susan, and also we have seen how much we who are left behind need a place to gather online to be together in our grief, , our tears and our remembering. The #bcsma chat this week provided just such a haven, and I have already written about how important it was for us to be able to come together online in this way. It has been wonderful to witness the outpouring of memories and expressions of what legacy has been left behind by Susan and Rachel on so many of your blogs this week – a real testament to how these women touched our hearts and our lives in different ways across the globe.
In Our Virtual Real Friend Rachel, Jody asks the question “how do we mourn this vital presence when we have nothing tangible to touch?” Well that question was answered for me in the #bcsm chat on Monday night. It may not be a perfect answer, but it was the next best thing.
I have written here before of how wonderful it has been when I have met my virtual friends in reality, and so I am excited to learn that Philippa and Terri will be meeting soon. Philippa writes:
In addition to sharing our own experiences, plans and ideas, we will be able to share the grief of losing Rachel and Susan. I am sure that we will talk about the subject of her blog posting about being united in grief and the strength of our online community.
This week Terri is forcing us to face up the reality of death. It may seem strange that in a community like ours, death is still something we may try to hide from – that became more difficult to do this week – so Terri’s post was very timely and thought-provoking.
As was Jan’s…
Our days on earth are short. The years of my pilgrimage on earth thus far are fifty-nine. My life has been difficult, full of potholes. I’ll likely not see the full age of my forefathers due to all the stress and chemicals thrown at me by fate and fools alike. But still I’ve outlived dear ones like Rachel, who didn’t even reach what we now consider middle age.
In Grieving Fallen Warriors, Debbie has been reflecting on the legacy left behind by Rachel and Susan and how it’s up to us to stand in the gap and continue their mission. This was a theme carried through on Julie Goodale’s A Few Sad Goodbyes post:
Their voices will be greatly missed. But, as another blogger said earlier today, there will be others to take their place. Yes, sadly, that’s true. There will be no shortage of new recruits to our ranks. I think maybe the best tribute to them would be to continue their work.
Renn pays tribute to all the fallen heroes of our blogging world
When I started blogging about breast cancer 10 months ago, the world wide web opened up and extended her loving arms around me. I came in contact with (and was embraced by) a great many people fighting this disease — all writing about it with humor, with bravado, with insight. I knew, statistically speaking, that some of these lovely bloggers that I “follow” would one day stop blogging….I wish my list didn’t exist. A virtual graveyard is not what I had in mind when I stepped into the design section of Blogger. But it is a brutal reality of breast cancer.
Anne Marie has written several posts on the passing of Susan and Rachel and she also written about the closeness of this breast cancer community which really came into its own as a support network this week.
“If my life is a quilt, our friendship did not live in the panels. It lived in the seams.” I just love this image from Chemobabe’s beautiful eulogy to Rachel.
On Rachel’s blog, Cancer Culture Chronicles, Gayle Sulik paid tribute to Rachel’s her fierce wit, eloquence and intelligence, and provided details of the memorial service which will take place in her honor. We may not all be able to attend in person, but I know we will be there in spirit with Rachel’s family and friends.
Nancy’s One Fateful Day in February did not start out as a memorial to Rachel, but turned out to be perfectly fitting.
In Memoriam is the title of a poem by Lord Alfred Tennyson, and Beth has chosen it to help her work through her sense of loss and grief.
Being Sarah’s partner, Ronnie, has written a beautiful post reflecting on the places where memories accumulate.
Katie posted a poignant picture of herself, Susan, Rachel and others last year at the NBBC conference and wrote the following words to accompany it
Here we all were at the conference last year. Nine months ago. This, my friends, is the sad reality of metastatic breast cancer.
The Pink Underbelly pays a beautiful tribute to Rachel and Susan’s legacies when she writes of how they ” blazed a trail and lit the way for newbies like me. They challenged and questioned and refused to wrap themselves in pink ribbons. They inspired me. By setting such a stalwart example, they encouraged me to do the same.”
Finally, Bringing Up Goliath’s words ” if I could dim the lights on my blog, I would” have been on my mind all week. I had a guest post lined up for Journeying Beyond this week but, like Stacey said, the lights were metaphorically dimmed for me too, and all I wanted was to write about, or read about Rachel this week. I imagine that you too agree with Stacey that the lights did go out, or at least dimmed, on all our blogs and in our hearts with the news of the passing of these two amazing women. We have to try now to help each other rekindle those lights again over the coming weeks and months – and I can’t think of a better community to do that.
Until next week, in the words of the song…
Let’s stick together.
Marie xxx
While I have only been blogging since October, I consider all of my fellow BC bloggers to be “cyber-friends”…..through their blogs I find hope, inspiration, and sometimes sadness. The many tributes to Rachel and Susan that I have read over the past week makes me feel proud to be part of this community.
Cancer Warrior
http://www.perksofcancer.com
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Beautifully said Florence
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Being a part of this blogging community is such an honor. What began for me as blogging for therapeutic release has evolved into so much more. The fact that Rachel and Susan had such a tremendous impact on so many people–including many they never met–is proof of the need for and scope of our precious community. And you, Marie, are the glue that holds us all together. xo
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Marie:
The reality of death. That was exactly what hit me right in the face on Monday. I’ve been blessed so far not to have lost anyone to cancer. All the survivors I know, and I’ve met quite a few, are still with us. So, when I found myself crying for two women I didn’t even know, I knew that lucky streak was over and I was devastated.
This community is a precious gift in my life and I am eternally grateful that I “knew” Rachel and Susan for the short time I did.
Survival > Existence,
Debbie
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I can’t seem to read enough about these women we’ve so tragically lost, so this week’s round-up is even more appreciated than usual. I want to read everything about them I can. Reading words others have written about them helps somehow. Thank you, Marie. And thanks for including Nancy’s Point.
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Haven’t even been able to write. Posting links like mad on FB, etc. So much to say…much more to come.
Thank you, Marie.
xoxo
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Wow, Marie. You found a way to continue a tribute to two ladies while bringing together and sharing the thoughts of many people – not just yourself. I think some of why you have so many followers is because you honor and share from everyone who has a common bond. And in doing so, you strengthen their bond. Oh and I too really liked Chemobabe’s analogy of the quilt and friendship that doesn’t live in the panels, but in the seams. Really helps us to think maybe when someone we care about dies, we are still connected somehow.
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I think Rachel nailed it–Marie, one of your strengths is how inclusive you are and I agree, I think that’s one of the reasons you have so many followers. Thank you for a round-up I’m sure you wish you didn’t have to pull together.
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Thank you so much Jackie x
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I am so touched by your kind words Rachel – thank you x
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Thank you, Marie. This list is wonderful. I’m honored to contribute in some small way to our community. I am sadly enjoying reading all the tributes – beautiful, sad, angry, energized – and know their legacy continues….
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Thank you, Marie, for including my blog. This particular round-up is so poignant because of the death of our two beloved sisters. It’s been a hard week for us all, so I very much appreciate your focusing on the tragedies of the week.
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Marie, this roundup is a superb summation (yet only a fraction of the love) that is floating in the blogosphere like ripples in the sea on behalf of these beautiful women. I’m humbled to be included in such an honorable list of voices.
It reminds me of a line from “It’s a Wonderful Life” when Clarence (the angel without his wings) shows Jimmy Stewart’s George Bailey what the world would have been like without him. With a pronoun change, it suits Susan and Rachel perfectly:
“Strange, isn’t it? Each woman’s life touches so many other lives. When she isn’t around she leaves an awful hole, doesn’t she?”
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I love those lines you chose from It’s A Wonderful Life – thank you for the reminder xxx
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Oh, Marie, words can’t begin to express my sorrow over losing Rachel. Just the number of posts about her this week speaks volumes about her integrity, witty nature, and profound influence on so many of us. We will never be the same again, having known–and then lost–our dear friend and fellow bloggess. Thank you for this tribute and for including my post in your roundup. We will miss Rachel beyond our own understanding. XOXO Jan
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So true Jan – my heart is exceedingly heavy all week. Did you see the lines from the poem by Lois?
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That poem is so beautiful. Thank you, Lois. You are very gifted. xxoxo
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We have lost two incredible people. When my best friend died from breast cancer, I wrote:
With Right of Survivorship
Hard it is to lose a friend
whose dying could foretell my end
and hard it is to pick up strands
of living, when those other hands
are stilled which often soothed my brow
and gave me courage up to now
There is no way to understand
why she is gone–and I am here
Farewell
we will embrace
again some day
part of my soul
goes with you
and part of yours
will stay
(Both poems excerpted from Fine Black Lines: Reflections on Facing Cancer, Fear and Loneliness, copyright 1993, 2003 by Lois Tschetter Hjelmstad)
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Thank you so very Lois for sharing these beautiful lines – they really resonate with me and I know that they will with many others reading this today.
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Marie,
Your Weekly Round Up this week has helped with the grieving process of yet again, losing some of our own. while each grieve in our own way, there is such comfort knowing when the sadness (and anger) threaten to overwhelm me…I can turn to my sisters in bloggers world. Thank you for the grace and love you help spread through the breast cancer community.
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Ah this is just how I feel too Kim… “here is such comfort knowing when the sadness (and anger) threaten to overwhelm me…I can turn to my sisters in bloggers world” x
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