A sister’s loving tribute

I came across the website of the Warwick Foundation today and was moved to tears by the way  its founder Samantha Lehmann writes of the death of her brother from cancer. She has created a foundation in his memory and now dedicates herself to making a difference in the lives of other young adults with cancer. She is an inspiration to us all.

In March 2005, I lost my beautiful brother Warwick to cancer, he was 35 years old. Through my grief I thought often about the struggles my brother faced during his illness. Why wasn’t he attending some sort of support group with people his age going through what he’s going through? Why was he having treatment with the elderly? How come Mum and Dad weren’t offered support until the day he went into palliative care? Why was he placed at the end of his journey in a 12 square metre hospital room with paint chipping off the walls and nowhere for his family to sit hour after hour when there was no room in palliative care? He did go to palliative care eventually in the last 4 days of his life, the nursing staff were caring, however we were not informed about what actually happens as you die. If you have ever been witness to watching a loved one slip away with cancer, as they move closer to death they start to shallow breath also known as the death rattle. It’s very distressing to watch someone you love go through that, we were not informed about it and it was a shock to walk in on the day my brother passed away, to see him like that. It looks and sounds painful, we were told by the nurses after our concerns and cries of shock seeing him this way that he was not in pain. These sort of situations and many other questions about the care my brother received throughout his cancer journey entered my mind frequently.

About a year and half after his death I accepted that my brother was gone and I started to move forward with my life, my family, my career. Yes I moved forward, you never get over the loss of a loved one, you just move forward. You do it for those that are still here, your loved one who has gone and for yourself. I’ll always love and miss my brother but his memory will always live on in my heart.

I started to lose the passion for what I did in my career and found myself often researching the net looking for support networks, foundations and organisations that focused on young adults with cancer. I felt that my brother deserved better in this wealthy country of ours and wondered why he hadn’t received the care and support he deserved. I did find about 12 different organisations/support networks but they were all in the USA. I could only find one new program established at The Peter MacCallum Institute in Melbourne called OnTrac@Peter Mac, a service for young people living with cancer. I couldn’t believe it. Just one! I approached them to see what they were about and what they were doing, and as a government body they desperately need funding to achieve what I have noticed is needed in this area.

I decided to sell my business and focus on my family life, but would often think about other young adults battling cancer right now, how were they coping? Did they have any support? I knew they would be facing the same struggles my brother did and that made me sad and frustrated, I wanted to help in some way.

So here I am trying to make a difference, I couldn’t live the rest of my life knowing there were major gaps like this in the public health system and not do anything about it.

In memory of my brother who loved music, his friends, his family and his life, I have set up The Warwick Foundation. I believe together we can fight and make a difference for young adults on their cancer journey.

Visit thewarwickfoundation.org for more information