Getting worry under control
Recently I have noticed my anxiety levels have begun to creep up in anticipation of an upcoming hospital appointment, and once that happens, it opens the floodgates to worry. I start worrying and getting anxious about every little thing, things I have no control over. So, it is with a sense of relief that I read some advice from author Allia Zobel Nolan on how to calm these worrisome anxious thoughts when they arise.
“Worrying is a choice” says Allia, “and you can choose not to do it. Once you catch yourself, you can say, “Okay, I know all I’m doing is going around in circles. So I’m getting off this bus. I’m not going to do this to myself.” Then, get completely absorbed with something that requires your complete mental attention”.
I particularly like her advice of writing down your worries in a journal on a weekly basis. “Try to keep tabs of how much time you spend being anxious, too. Open the journal each week to see how many of the things you worried about actually happened or came true. Referring to this journal often will show you how much time you waste by worrying. It will also serve as a reminder that most of the things you worry about don’t actually happen.”
Squash unnecessary worrying with one question: “Can I do anything about this matter right now, right this minute?” If the answer is “no,” stay in the present moment, jot down the thought, and then let it go.
So how about you, have you any tips for dealing with the worry monster when it attacks? If so, please share it with us here.
Worrying is a choice and you can choose not to do it – this really struck me forcibly when reading this excellent post. I never thought of it like that before, but I think that is going to be really useful advice next time the worry monster strikes.
LikeLike
Excellent post today. Words I really need to hear and act on as I am a real worry wart!
LikeLike
I really like that tip of writing down your worries each evening in a journal
LikeLike
Good morning Marie! I will be praying for your appointment. I so believe that worrying is a choice. One of my favorite movies is Gone with the Wind where Scarlet O’Hara says “I will think about that tomorrow” is something I have adopted because alot of times that tomorrow doesn’t come for that worry.
I agree with the journal idea and writing things down. I started writing my thoughts both worries and praises of things that happened that were good and found that in looking back over the months I have more praises than I do worries 🙂
LikeLike
I used to worry a lot, about everything, from my children’s future, to the cold they had, to money, and everything inbetween. And then one day, i stopped worrying about anything that I had no power over. And tough things in the future? If or when they come, I’ll deal with them. There and then. Not now when they don’t exist yet. Around the same time, I also stopped being afraid of flying. No idea what happened in my brain around that time, but I’m thankful it happened!
LikeLike
As you get farther out in survivorship the worry monstor begins to shrink. For every appointment he flexes his toes slightly, or if some unusual ache or pain creeps in, but a quick “reality check” for me usually sends him back to his cage.
I have two ways of dealing with anxiety though, that are really effective. One, cycling or regular exercise. When I’m slipped in my routine I’m just not in as good a mood. And two, I look at the situation and determine what I can and cannot control. If there’s a step I can take to affect the situation I do so; if not, I give it up, by talking about it with someone or meditation.
Great post, Marie,
love,
Jody
LikeLike
Thanks for reminding us about the benefits of taking regular exercise Jody – not just for a healthy body, but for a healthy mind too. Also love your advice about assessing the situation. Thanks so much for you comment today x
LikeLike
Ah yes, the worry monster. I agree that it is a choice but I also know people for whom it seems to be genetic, including my husband and daughter. When in counseling with my daughter for her anxieties the therapist recommended a specific time to talk each day, for about 15 minutes or so. That would be the time to talk about any worries Sophia had on her mind. We would get them out, discuss ways to deal and show her that lots of people have worries. And then when the time was up we would move on to something else, some activity. I think this helps to put the worries in their place and try not to let them sneak and creep into every moment of the day. We also used to imagine squashing the worries and throwing them off a cliff. Visualization can be a wonderful tool in that regard.
As for me, I try to journal, exercise, talk to family and friends and then distract myself with reading, movies, a walk, prayer, music. The idea for me is to make the choice to not let the worries take hold, don’t give them any power.
Thanks for your post:) Love, Deb
LikeLike
Great post! I agree that some of us are hard-wired for anxiety. Writing it down helps immensely. Also, when you find yourself worrying, tell yourself that now is not the time, but set an appointment with yourself to give it some thought. Keep the appointment.
LikeLike
Great post. Yesterday I blogged about my tips for keeping your cool in the waiting room after watching a patient meltdown from the anxiety of the situation.
http://joinourloop.blogspot.com/2010/04/suzannes-guide-to-keeping-your-cool-in.html
LikeLike
I must say I’d never been much of a worrier (but I’ve never had a life-threatening desease, either). I think my only anxieties before I got depressed came from my wanting to perform above average at exams and, even then, it wasn’t a common thing in my book. I was good at school so there was little to worry about.
Then depression came with unemployment and made me believe all my skills at anything had left me so I became anxious cuz I couldn’t get job interviews and it got even worse when I got them.
Getting over my depression (well, keeping it under control at least) took away the anxiety, too… or was it the other way round? 😉
Yes, I too believe we chose to worry and yes, having something good to focus on works like magic… sometimes.
Great post, Marie. Thanks for continuously bringing new perspectives into our own lives
Love
LikeLike
Thanks for all your wonderful suggestions and insight – your comments really enriched this blog post!
LikeLike
Marie,
Back from my vacation and catching up on your previous blogs. I choose to treat worries as knots on a string. Interruptions on an otherwise smooth surface. A careful study of how and what caused it, and you would be ready to untie them.
Panicking is not always the best state of mind to untie worries. When we panic, we invariably tend to overreact and confusingly treat every alarm signs as distress signals. Stay poised and be in control.
Finally, meditation helps and helps big. We have all heard of “Mens sana in corpore sano”. To me, a healthy mind, an optimistic mind, always floats a positive outlook in face of adversity. It is often the key to overcoming worries and continuing to remain worry-free.
LikeLike
Dear Marie,
A very insightful blog, got me thinking (as your blog usually do). I think I reckognise a lot of what you’re saying but agree that I have a choice. And if I get worried about something (upcoming physical, job, unexpected financial trouble) I get on my bike and start pedalling: that clears my mind to a point I can see whether or not I can change the things I’m worrying about. If I can I know what to do: if I can’t I just need to let it go and see what happens. Nothing clears my head better than get on that bike and ride.
Amazing blog again, love Annemieke
LikeLike
I would certainly agree with your commentators who mention exercise as a key strategy for dealing with worry and anxiety – it works for me!
LikeLike
wow – I really needed to read this today – thank you for posting!
LikeLike
Thanks so much for relaying this important information about worry which you got from my book on the subject. I wrote THE WORRYWART’S PRAYER BOOK,to keep my own worrying under control. Writing the book has certainly helped me, and from the comments here, maybe it can help others. Do give it a look see. THE WORRYWART’S PRAYER BOOK is filled with quotes, Scripture, anecdotes and advice on getting off the worry-go-round. Since I’m a work in progress, I return to it often. I love the quote from my husband, “Let there be no worry before its time.” All the best in keeping your worry in check. Allia Zobel Nolan, author THE WORRYWART’S PRAYER BOOK.
LikeLike
Thanks for relaying this important information about worry from my book, THE WORRYWART’S PRAYER BOOK. The book is filled with affirmations, quotes, anecdotes, Scripture and examples aimed at getting folks off the worry-go-round. It helped me to write it and continues to help me. When I get nervous, my husband tells me “Go up and read your book.” Ha. Maybe some who left comments here might get some insight from it as I have.
LikeLike
Sorry for the double post. The first didn’t show until I posted the second. But will I worry about it? Nah…..
LikeLike