Tami Boehmer: A Light Still Shines
I awoke this morning to the news that Tami Boehmer has died. I feel heart-sick and shocked at the news. I have been worried about Tami for several weeks as she had stopped blogging, and my emails to her went unanswered. I’ve just gone back to read her last blog post in September and right to the end, Tami maintained hope in the face of devastation. That hope carried Tami through her diagnosis of a cancer recurrence in 2008, right up to the present day. That’s not to say she didn’t have dark days as her last blog post demonstrated.
“What people really don’t realize is there is strength in feeling your feelings. And with my dire situation now, it’s not an easy thing. Sooner or later, they have to come out, which is what happened this weekend. It all started Saturday morning with a comment from our daughter about how she could see Mike and me as a cute, old couple. I don’t know if she was testing the waters with me, but I felt I must prepare her in some way. So I said, “I’m not sure I will make it to be an old lady, but we remain hopeful about this new trial and I’m doing everything I can to stick around as long as I can”.
Tami’s love for her daughter, Chrissy, and her husband Mike, shone through everything she wrote and was clear for all to see in the pictures and posts she shared on her Facebook page. Over the years – and I’ve known Tami since I first started blogging back in 2009 – I’ve watched as she spread her positive messages of hope and compassion to others. As we know, there can be a backlash against the message of “positivity” in the cancer blogosphere – but for me, Tami was never Pollyanna-ish in how she wrote or spoke about her experience. Yes, she shared a positive message – that’s there always hope; but she was realistic too. This was her truth and she shared it with others in the hope that they could find a light in the darkness.
Several people have told me lately I’m brave or that I’m a hero. I really don’t get it; and I’m not being falsely modest. What choice do I have, really? Before I had stage IV cancer, I remember telling a friend going through it that I didn’t think I would be strong enough to face a diagnosis like she was. She told me I would be, and she was right. As Eleanor Roosevelt says, “A woman is like a tea bag. She never knows how strong she is until she’s put in hot water.
Tami’s light still shines for me and for countless others. I will miss her voice in the blogosphere dreadfully. My heart aches for Mike and Chrissy who have lost a loving and wonderful wife and mother. This horrible disease has stolen another beautiful woman from our lives and we are all the poorer for it.
So very sad… It just should not happen …
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Tami is the second person in two days I have learned has died of breast cancer. I met both Tami and Cindy Hoy Sullivan online while navigating my own cancer diagnosis. My heart goes out to both families. In this time of grief I hope they can find solace in knowing that both Tami and Cindy touched thousands of lives with their generous spirits. They will continue to shine on through us. And thank you Marie for your tireless efforts in keeping us apprised of everything that accompanies a diagnosis, good and bad.
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If there was anyone that one thought would endure, it was Tami. She will be missed by so many of us. I was thinking of her just this weekend, wondering how she was, and happened to read a comment she left on an old post of mine. Now tears. Hugs to you, Marie. She will not be forgotten. ❤
Kathi
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Such terrible news, but what a lovely tribute you’ve created, Marie. Hugs and condolences to the many people who love Tami. xo
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I am heartbroken as well. Tami was such a light in the breast cancer advocacy world and inspired so many to keep pushing on. You wrote a beautiful post about a beautiful woman who changed the world.
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Rest in Peace. May your family find peace in knowing you fought an amazing fight!
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I am so sad.
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Very sad to learn of Tami’s passing. I found so much comfort from her writing when I was going through treatments. Her light will continue to shine through her beautiful words and powerful message.
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Such sad news that Tami has died. Thank you for letting us know, Marie, thank you for the beautiful tribute you have written about her. My heart goes out to her family, and to all who loved and cared for her.
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I am so sorry. xoxo
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I am just so heartbroken to hear this news. Thank you for this post and for sharing a bit of Tami’s light. Sending love from Cape Town to everyone in our community tonight. xoxoxo
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Hearts breaking all over the world for this loss. I’ll miss her words, too. Thank you for this tribute.
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I had no idea. Thank you for creating such a lovely tribute and sharing the inforamtion
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Tami’s light and grace will continue to shine from her heavenly place. Feeling heartbroken and so sad Tami has passed. We will continue to embrace the strength she so eloquently offered us all. Thank you for sharing your beautiful blog and special moments.
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I am so sorry..this is a horrid disease…Bless her family…and everyone that loved her
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Thank you all for your beautiful comments here. It’s important that we support each other through our grief. This is the very special thing about our community x
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Thank you so much for sharing this with us Marie. You awake another day Happy, despite all you do your best to remain positive, just like Beautiful Tami. I too am a survivor and am doing my radiation. I do not know either of you and I have not read her blog, but you better believe I will catch up on you both. I have always kept in my mind the thought that there is far more people gong thru far more then I to complain. So today I am much more thankful and my heart goes out to Mike and Chrissy, prayers to them and there family and friends. I am honored to have to not missed this post it was meant to be, to know and read about Tami and what a bright light she is and will continue to shine. Hugs to you Marie
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Thank you for this lovely post about Tami, Marie. So many taken by this wretched disease. #wewillnotforget xx
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Poorer for our loss, but richer for having known her. Beautiful tribute to Tami and her impact on so many of us.
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We are all RICHER for knowing Tami. What a blessing it was to have known her.
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Oh yes Karen and @neckel54 you are so right – we are certainly richer for having known her.
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The heart breaks and shatters. Thank Tami for sharing words of wisdom with us. They will live on and glow brighter as we make sure – that our flame keeps burning. I hate this disease. https://www.medicope.com/#!search?freeText=Tami
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