World Mental Health Day
Reposting for World Mental Health Day.
When I first started this blog, I elected to write about how my cancer experience had enriched my life (rather than to admit any other darker truth). I wanted this blog to be about hope – as a young woman newly diagnosed with cancer, I only wanted to hear that there would be a good outcome to all of this. When I finished treatment, I wanted to be that survivor – the one with the story of hope for other young women. But over the past five years of writing, as I struggled to come to terms with infertility (a legacy of cancer treatment) and the death of my beloved mother from a brain tumor, I could no longer write that cancer was a life-affirming, positive experience. Cancer robs you of so many precious things, leaves your spirit broken, and your hopes and dreams shattered.
And yet we should not stay stuck in this place forever. We need to find a way to journey from our dark places toward the light. How we do this will be different for each of us; but do it we must.
For me, writing about my experiences and being part of a caring, compassionate and wise blog community has helped me enormously. Knowing that there is a place where I can write from my heart, a space where I can shed my mask is empowering for me. In the words of Natalie Goldberg, author of Writing Down The Bones: “I write out of hurt and how to make hurt okay; how to make myself strong and come home, and it may be the only real home I’ll ever have.”
Give Sorrow Words
“When we write, we create, and when we offer our creation to one another, we close the wound of loneliness, and may participate in healing the broken world.” – Pat Schneider
A cancer diagnosis is devastating. Writing can help transform your cancer experience into a journey of healing and self-awareness. Translating emotions into words makes them less overwhelming. We begin to understand them. Emotional healing is a critical part of survivorship and writing is a wonderful way to access a deeper well of healing. “Give sorrow words”, wrote Shakespeare almost 400 years ago; his words as relevant today as ever. Through writing, we can find our way back to a sense of wholeness. We may discover a place inside us that we are not even aware of; feelings that might remain forever hidden unless we gave expression to them through writing.
Authentic writing, writing that comes from a deep place within us, opens up our vulnerabilities – what writer Michael Lewin calls our places of wounded-ness. Blogging in a community of like-minded people counteracts the isolation we so often feel. It carries within it the seeds of community and connection which is lacking in so many of our lives and a key component of good mental health. I am grateful for those of you who have shared your own stories of wounded-ness and healing on your blogs. In reading them, my journey of discovery has been enriched and I have gained solace and strength for the journey.
So my message to you on this Mental Health Blog Day, is to keep shedding light in the darkness. Keep telling your stories. “When we begin to see our suffering as a story,” Anaïs Nin wrote in her famous diaries, “we are saved.”
dear Marie,
such a beautifully written expression of writing, writing for our lives! and our sanity! and I find it’s so true – connecting with others who also struggle helps us find our voices, those of buried emotions, those of small victories in ah ha moments when there is a perfect fit of words that can comfort and encourage us. I am learning, striving so hard to learn to live beyond the fear, the sorrow, and the past. I think the challenge of re-shaping our lives is to keep our eyes on that prize of a well-lived life while allowing the grief of so many losses – whether from illness, treatment, or the loss of loved ones -to live alongside of us and be willing to recognize and honor and lean into grief when we need to. that challenge is fraught with so much angst at times, the ups and downs can be dizzying, it can feel so damned unfair. it is so HARD! thank goodness we have such a supportive and compassionate community to nod our heads yeah or nay in safety and in empathy and in LOVE.
with gratitude and love,
Karen xoxo
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Lovely post Marie. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with such raw honesty and for empowering others. Best wishes always, Jacquie
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This is really beautiful, Marie. And also, “what Karen said”. Karen is the best and most eloquent commenter!
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Thanks Jacquie, Elizabeth and Karen for taking the time to comment here. Your words mean a lot to me. We make ourselves vulnerable when we reveal our true selves online – this isn’t without its dangers. Luckily for me it has been, with the rare few exceptions, a life-affirming experience.
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I have found a comfortable place within the blogging community and so appreciate your PRESENCE. Thank you for sharing.
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Yvonne,it has been a joy to welcome you into this community of bloggers. Long may you continue to share your story and wisdom here.
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Hi Marie,
What a moving post. Your voice is an anchor in this blogging community of caring. Jackie Fox once said to me, “Nancy, don’t ever hesitate to write from your heart.” I have thought about those words many times, especially when I hesitate to share about those darker things. (thanks, Jackie) I guess what I’m trying to say, is thank you, Marie, for writing from your heart. By doing so, you encourage others to do the same. And those words of Shakespeare, “Give sorrow words,” I love that. Thanks for the beautiful message for Mental Health Blog Day, but of course, it’s really a message for every day.
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Your words mean so much to me Nancy. Your voice is one of the most trusted and clear in the blogosphere and I learn so much from you – thank you for your continued support.
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What Karen said.
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“Blogging in a community of like-minded people counteracts the isolation we so often feel.” So well-said, Marie, and this post is so important. We do need to write to shed “light” on the “dark.” Your voice has been so powerful and encouraging to us who blog; I’m so glad our paths crossed, and we in the blogosphere are lucky to have your voice.
By the way, I love Natalie Goldberg.
A person who writes of his suffering and turns humankind’s suffering into the idea that suffering is most tolerated when we assign meaning to it is Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning.
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By the way, I forgot to add that painting and other art forms are also conducive to healing from trauma. Painting helps me immensely, and I’ve painted about the cancer experience.
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A perfect post for the day that is in it and so well written.
I have always written, especially during bad times, but now with blogging I have found a wonderful platform. I thought it was all about the writing, and the release it brings, but I was wrong. Blogging is a community and they, as well as my writing have got me through some hard days in the past year.
It is also interesting to read how you covered up your true feelings, but couldn’t keep them in forever. I think writing encourages us to be honest with ourselves, which is ultimately healing.
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Hi Tric, thanks for your comment. Writing truly does have the power to heal those wounded places. I think it also helps us when we are part of a supportive community that listens and validates our suffering.
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I feel tearful in reading this post. It is all so relatable, and I too appreciate this place online to turn sufferings into stories. Beautiful post.
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