Speechless!
*UPDATE*
I received the following email from the marketing company. This shows once again the power of social media to amplify our voices and how much stronger we are when we stand together.
Marie, On behalf of our whole firm, we wanted to reach out to say how deeply apologetic we are for using language in the cover note emailed to you regarding BRA (Breast Reconstruction Awareness) Day that appeared to minimize the seriousness of the issues at hand. We are so sorry for any offense that this has caused you or any woman affected by breast cancer. We will not be proceeding with the campaign.
My hands are actually shaking I am so angry as I type these words. I was just settling down to write about my incredible experience at the Stanford Medicine X conference, but before doing so I checked my email.
This is what greeted me.
Dear Marie,
Boobs are so much more than just “the girls” or “melons.” They’re fabulous. They make us feel sexy, whether we’re in our best outfit, lounging around in our favorite flannel PJs, or just bare butt naked. This fall, we want to spread this sensation of beauty and breast empowerment to breast cancer patients and survivors, as well as women nationwide.
Many women who undergo mastectomies aren’t adequately informed about breast reconstruction options and reimbursement. In order to help raise awareness of these available options, we’re celebrating National BRA Day 2014 (October 15), in affiliation with the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, with a grassroots social media campaign using the hashtag #WHATSUNDERHERE.
Each participant receives a t-shirt with the #WHATSUNDERHERE hashtag on the front. In addition to the t-shirt, each kit comes with a set of cards with fun and thought-provoking sayings, such as: “Is Cancer Free,” “Looks Great Naked,” “Will Not Take Cancer Lying Down,” among others.
There’s more to this, but I cannot bring myself to share anymore with you. If you are a blogger who is part of the usual email/spam list from marketing companies you will no doubt receive your own “personalized” version of this email.
I don’t even know where to begin in listing what is wrong with this approach; it’s everything from the first mention of “boobs” to the suggestion that you can only be “sexy” and “empowered” if you have perfectly reconstructed “melons”. And don’t get me started on the #whatsunderhere t-shirt slogan!
This email originated from a healthcare marketing company who pride themselves on creating “original communications programs that build upon your situation and direction”. Well whatever they are building this campaign on – it’s not on the sensitivity of women who have had mastectomies that’s for sure!
Maybe I’m just over-reacting because I’ve returned from Medicine X where I listened to such articulate and impassioned stories by patients, that the language and sentiment of this email really pushed my buttons. So please help me out here.. am I missing something? As always this is not a judgment on whether someone decides on a reconstruction or not – that’s our own choice and it’s not always an easy one – but I am offended at the implication that we can only be sexy with breasts and once again a serious life-threatening illness is turned into a social media “awareness-raising” game.
No! You are not over-reacting Marie. I am speechless too. This is marketing jumping on the social media bandwagon and it gives breast cancer campaigns a bad name. These campaigns are why people think breast cancer is the sexy/easy/pink/fluffy cancer instead of the scarring, mutilating reality that we face in the mirror every day. I am so angry right now!
LikeLike
I know you support everyone’s personal choice when it comes to making decisions around treatment and the aftermath – you’ve always been very clear and fair when it comes to this. Speaking as someone who has had a reconstruction, I too find the puerile language used here offensive. And don’t get me started on those t-shirts!!!
LikeLike
I flip between the mention of boobs and melons and butt-naked!!! back to the t-shirt slogans and I can’t decide what makes me more angry. Can you imagine the audacity, the crassness of any cancer survivor walking around with a tshirt that proclaims Cancer Free! I honestly don’t know anyone who would.. except in this marketer’s stupid world.
LikeLike
I am so sick of breast cancer being turned into a social media game – it’s gone beyond a joke at this stage
LikeLike
Marie,
I read your post and thought I better check the email address I use for my book and blog and sure enough there it was. I don’t even blog anymore but I think I might have to come out of “retirement” for this.
How tone deaf. How unfeeling. What’s worse is it’s supposedly from a health-care consultancy firm. I think they’ll be in for quite a surprise when they see what kind of response they get. #whatsunderhere is a brain and a willingness to speak up.
LikeLike
Big yuck from me too. I received the same email and no, I won’t be participating either. I’ve blogged about BRA Day before… I didn’t even respond to the email. Thank you for responding with this spot-on post. Sorry you became so upset. I look forward to that other post you mentioned.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think I was channeling you Nancy – you are always so wonderfully articulate when it comes to these things.
LikeLike
Jackie, please DO come out of retirement for this one – you are so eloquent you will do a far better job than I did in my angry state. The sad part is that I am not sure if they will get that much of a negative response – all they want is metrics to show how many people tweeted with that hashtag – and as we know from previous infantile Facebook “awareness-raising” games in the past, there will be enough people to mindlessly retweet with this hashtag, to deem the campaign a success.
LikeLike
I was just reading this exact email to my husband in shock that someone would be so insensitive. I think people should be aware of their reconstruction options, but writing to someone who has had reconstruction about their “melons” being so wonderful… -sigh-
LikeLike
Mandi, thanks for your comment. It’s good to know we have a place that we can come together and share the real stories! I’ve also added your blog to my curated list of breast cancer blogs here: http://list.ly/i/839709
LikeLike
Marie, you are definitely not off base here. I would like to respond to that email with the hashtag #whatswrongwithyou. It sounds like an ad for porn, something that is too close to home for someone like me. I hope there is a big outcry. I do await your blog on the Stanford experience. It will be so cathartic for you after blogging about that spam. xx
LikeLike
Thank you Jan. Your points are very well made. And I’ve just got myself boiling mad again! As an antidote I am going to draft my Med X post and calm myself down with lovely sunny memories of sharing lunch with you x
LikeLike
Disgusting!
LikeLike
OMGosh, disgusting.
LikeLike
I got it too and I have contact information on my blog to complain. Please visit me at http://www.butdoctorihatepink.com/2014/09/bra-day-another-metastasis.html and write, email and call the people in charge for this incredibly insensitive method of selling product.
LikeLike
Oh by the way, I wanted to add this has nothing to do with reconstruction choices. They want to sell a specific product and want patients to ask for it. They only want you educated on that one product. It is sickening.
LikeLike
dear Marie, I just got an instant headache reading this incredibly hideous claptrap. you are not over-reacting, not at all. starting from the first word of the e-mail, “boobs” , then reading through what else is posted was beyond insensitive. I thought this could not possibly be legitimate, more like spam or some sort of come-on for a porn site.
Jan’s response, conjuring up the hashtag, #what’swrongwithyou was brilliant.
much love,
Karen
LikeLike
I’m sorry that ever landed in your inbox for you to read, Marie. It was thoughtless, clueless and tone deaf. Hopefully, it will just disappear and go away.
LikeLike
Holy shi . . . seriously?
LikeLike
Scorchyyyyyy!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Words fail. You are so right for calling this out.
LikeLike
Clueless!
LikeLike
You’re right. Where do we begin? I suppose what gets me most, although it’s hard to choose, is reducing breast cancer to something that affects only our sense of attractiveness. It’s CANCER – a life threatening disease. And the way she talked about “boobs” and “melons” feels so objectifying. Unbelievable.
LikeLike
Disgusting indeed.
LikeLike
Yes, it’s stupid and offensive and we should point that out. From the tone they seem to think that they are doing a Good Thing in a chipper, cute, creative way. I just made an appointment with a plastic surgeon here in France to get implants. That’s two years after my masectomy and it took that long for me to make up my mind if I was going to do it or not. I learned since that I don’t need breasts to feel good in my skin (and it sure as hell has nothing to do with empowerment). It’s also not a risk free procedure. But it’s covered 100% by the French national healthcare program (the cost is fixed). Forgive my cynicism here, but would the American College of Plastic Surgeons still be part of this campaign if they knew that they could only do this procedure at cost + VERY modest fee for their services? 🙂
LikeLike
Wow, this sounds like it was written by some young women that has her own “boob melons” and has no idea what it like to hear you have cancer and we need to remove your breasts to stay alive. Shame on you for trying to market plastic surgery that is a personal choice by telling us we will never be the same without our breasts. I think they call that fear marketing?
I had had my breasts removed at 34 yrs old, then a year later cancer came back now stage 4. And you know what I feel sexy in a way I never thought possible.
Shame on you!
LikeLike
I don’t know whether to sigh, cry or scream 😦 but for sure I am right with you all. It is beyond belief, and beyond offensive. And utterly uninformed. I remember being propelled into an online primal scream last year with the indescribably offensive “no bra day” nonsense. This year the label is “National Bra Day”??? What rot! And the day after the sole day designated to mark Metastatic Breast Cancer? Sick.
It is beyond cheap to use cancer and its physical and psychological impact to promote a campaign for expensive and painful major surgery.
I love Jan’s suggestion of alternative hashtags – given my own post surgery state the first one would have to be
#youreallydontwanttoseewhatsunderhere
followed by
#doyoustillnotgetthepoint
#keepyournoseoutofthingsyoudontunderstand
Need a cup of tea now 😉
LikeLike
It’s the cutesy coy, ‘li’l girl’ approach that really rankles. Instantly made my blood pressure soar. Sounds like they handed over to a bright young thing, hoping for mass appeal. More of an instant emetic trigger!
Love the heartfelt hashtags …
Now bring on your good stuff, Marie, let’s not give away any energy to this cynical game-playing rubbish.
LikeLike
Yes, I am so keen to hear about your Medx time, Marie 🙂
LikeLike
Aaaaaargh!
LikeLike
Laying here in pain from surgery yesterday because. My first recon my implants shifted so I had the DIEP. Yesterday I phase2 I’m sore exhausted sad and mad. Checking email because I can’t sleep and I got the same letter. This is disgusting and I’ll be replying to her as soon as I can gather my less medicated thoughts. “bra day” what the hell???
LikeLike
I agree with Victoria. My reconstruction was done on the NHS, in the UK, and I’m pretty sure the members of the American College of Plastic Surgeons would be less interested in getting behind this campaign if the cost of the procedure were covered by some form of health insurance.
LikeLike
Let’s hashtag-bomb the campaign… To the above I humbly submit #whatsunderwhere? I speak as a flattie of course 🙂
LikeLike
It took a long time, but I’m now proud of my livid 12 inch sharkbite scar – it’s proof I’ve lived and that I’m still living. To be honest, I would be equally offending by this misogynistic twaddle even if I still had both of mine because it attempts to reduce every woman’s value and worth to being equivalent to the size and shape of a body-part. It’s simply beyond comtempt
LikeLike
It is exhausting, particularly that not taking cancer lying down phrase – what is that meant to refer to? Being flat chested, taking a poorly timed nap, fighting cancer via breast reconstruction?
I always like to hope these thing are done with the best if intentions, even when they end up being offensive. Women knowing their options is great, and women choosing what feels right for them is great.
Emails in the inbox that make no sense and have been randomly sent out to anyone mentioning breasts in their blog – exhausting.
LikeLike
Welcome home Marie.
You know, if we all thought the same thing life would be boring because everyone around us would be just like you. Instead, we get to listen and watch the outrageous things people say and do. I think it is a mentality thing, they are very proud of theirs and are making some very broad assumptions about how other women feel.
I think you know I’m appalled given the photos I’ve posted on my blog throughout my mastectomy process. There was not, and is not anything glamorous about what occurred.
Unlike you Marie, I’m not shaking for it would become a longstanding state since so many say the wrong things about breast cancer. I’ve just become numb to it. And try to move through life with my new one tit existence. Yes, I have an implant not a boob.
LikeLike
You made me smile Diane – and also nod in agreement with your wisdom, Normally I set my reactor meter to low, but something about the timing of this email got me – jetlagged and still processing the stories I’d ever at Stanford.
LikeLike
You made me smile 🙂 Nicely done my dear, as you barely get your feet on the ground you are still leading from the front…you go girl…blazing trails! ~D
LikeLike
Horrible! I think I’ve missed this one, or maybe I’ve already deleted it without even reading. I’ve gotten very, very quick with the delete button, especially at this time of year.
LikeLike
I kind of tripped onto this on FB. Can you post the original post so I can see what you were updating? Just interested in reading what led up to the update, and I don’t see archives anywhere. Sorry that I have never seen your blog before. I work with breast cancer daily (mammographer) so I don’t usually live in the subject outside of work.
LikeLike
@judijo thanks for taking the time to comment and welcome to this part of the breast cancer blogosphere! The original post is directly underneath the update – let me me know if you require any more information. Best Regards, Marie
LikeLike
Oh dear! Another silly silly person, whos mouth has said and hands have witten something without thinking or brain functioning. I could say so much more …. I can just see the office and a all these people sitting around, sipping sparkling water, wearing their expensive clothes etc etc talking and thinking how wonderful this campagin is. Well here is something to think about, it doesnt matter what yous thought. Why? It is sooooooo obvious that none of you have met a person how has had breast cancer. None of you have had that those devastating words said to you on a friday evening at 4.20 that you have breast cancer. None of you have had to go home and tell your family that news. To sit and be up beat while telling your children what you have swiming about your body. It honestly doesnt matter what clothes we wear or if we want “mellons” at that minute in time. All we want is to surive, live and grow old. So do your selves a favour dont assume you know what anyone thinks or knows or wants. and as for that tee shirt and Iknow what I would like to do with it, burn it. How belittleing can something be.
Heres a challenge to the Marketing company, come walk in my shoes, learn about how I think and feel about my “boobs”. Thank god that women feel son impowdered today to feel good about them selves no matter what they have or dont. Marie take care and remember what you do has helped so many people and and gives postive food for thought. Thank you.
LikeLike
Wow. Even if I had never had a bilateral mastectomy I would be offended by someone calling my breasts melons. What an absurd email, so glad to hear that they removed the campaign after the negative response. It just boggles the mind to think that someone could be so insensitive.
LikeLike
Pingback: Weekly Round Up | Journeying Beyond Breast Cancer