Weekly Round-Up
Time for this week’s round-up of the best of the blogs which I’ve read over the past week. These are the posts that have moved me, taught me something, inspired me, and which I’ve wanted to share with you. Remember, if you have written or read a post recently which you would like me to share with readers, then please leave a comment below.
This was a week for us to remember our beloved Rachel, on the first anniversary of her death. Anne Marie sums up the feelings of many of us on hearing the news of Rachel’s passing from this world.
One year ago, my sense of purpose was overtaken by a sense of urgency. We are wasting time. Lives are being stolen. One year ago, that point was driven home in ways I don’t think I have the words to describe.
Renn writes that Rachel’s death “forced me to acknowledge the stark, deeply dark truth of cancer.”
Honoring Rachel’s memory emerged as a theme with many of you. Nancy wrote a review of Rachel’s newly published book The Cancer Culture Chronicles (after her blog of the same name).
Rachel has been called the most influential writer in the metastatic breast cancer realm. Her posts are now part of her legacy. What made her blog so special? In a word, Rachel. Among other things, she was a gifted writer. Sometimes Rachel’s posts made me laugh. Sometimes they made me sad and yes, sometimes they made me angry. But one thing’s for certain, they always made me think.
Nancy has hit the nail on the head here! I felt exactly the same about Rachel’s writing from the first time I read her blog. Sometimes it made for uncomfortable reading, but her words could never be ignored.
In Remembering. Moving On. Katie explains how in the year since Rachel’s death, she has moved further from the cancer community.
I do not think that Rachel’s legacy, or mine for that matter, ought to be how affected I am by life’s tragedies. I refuse to squander the very thing that Rachel worked so hard to keep.
Jackie honors Rachel’s memory by writing an exquisite poem for her. The title Sorry Business refers to Rachel’s home of birth, Austrlia. On the islands north of Australia, the mourning period is known as sorry business.
This week reminded us yet again of the ties that bind us, the theme of Stacey’s latest blog. The standout message for me when reading this piece came towards the end when Stacey wrote “We’ve been forever linked by those words” (you have cancer) – a simple sentence but one that holds a world of meaning.
At the same time, the marvellous blogger, Scorchy who writes at The Scarcastic Boob has a thought-provoking piece on how those ties that bind can weaken as a divide appears between those who are termed “survivors” and those who are stage iv (but that’s a whole other topic!)
..beyond an initial diagnosis of breast cancer there isn’t an anchor that binds us anymore. I empathize with them, but I can’t fully understand. They empathize with me, but they can’t fully understand. It is what it is.
An important point made in this terrific piece is that when you see how people react in the virtual world, it is no different from how they react in the real world. It brought home the point for me that it is more than cancer that connects us. The friends I have made online are not friends because of cancer, but because they are sensitive, caring, compassionate, funny and amazing women who I happened to meet on my cancer journey. (I think I feel a blog post coming on!)
So what else has been happening in the blogosphere?
Elaine is continuing with her pledge to write a haiku a day; Debbie is sharing a pep talk with us; Catherine has a fairy story with a difference; Lois is decluttering and Lisa is celebrating the first day of the rest of her life.
Beth has an epiphany in Target of all places ( I am a sucker for Target when I visit the States) when she realizes she is enjoying an ordinary day. I really get this – it was the ordinary things I missed being able to do when I was laid low by chemo. It took cancer to teach me the beauty of such ordinary things and I try not to forget it now that I am caught up in the ordinary everyday again.
Ordinary is never a word I associate with Philippa”s everyday life and this week she has been enjoying the delights of Irrawaddy Literary Festival. Asalways she blows me away with an extra-ordinary image – this time it’s the romantically gorgeous picture she posts of a group listening to poetry as the sun sets on Inya Lake.
Terri sets off with her intrepid #Delhi2013 group next week, but she still has halfway to go with her fundraising, so please consider supporting Terri’s audacious adventure. Full details of how you can do this are on her Fresh Chapter blog.
A woman after my own heart, Audrey is advocating for a return to “heartful health and social care, heartful organisations to work in and a heartful society to be part of and contribute to. It’s a whole hearted/ whole system response we need. Now I’m up for making that happen…are you?”
Yvonne is opening up about the feelings of depression she has been ambushed by a year after her cancer treatment. As cancer survivors, many of us have struggled with that unexpected feeling of depression and loneliness that surprises us after treatment is finished.The physical and emotional fallout of cancer treatment can contribute to feelings of anxiety and depression and I would like to see more awareness and help given to cancer survivors to prepare them to cope with this. I also feel we need to show the real face of cancer. As Eileen writes on her blog:
I went into treatment shaken but with a strong spirit, and came out bent over as one who’d become cancer’s bitch – physically, emotionally and financially battered. While I may be deemed cancer-free, truth be told, cancer kicked my ass. It didn’t kill me, but it whipped me.
While acknowledging the pain, Kari Ann writes that sometimes pain is the only teacher able to speak loudly enough to get our attention and urges us not to waste the lessons it teaches.
The good things in my life keep me going but the bad things bring me to my knees and force me to grow and change in ways beyond my comfort….If you go through something terrible and don’t learn anything from it, you are wasting your own heartache. I believe everything that happens in my life, good or bad, is meant to change and instruct me.
Finally, let me introduce you to a new blog for the round-up – Jenn in her own words . Born in the USA, raised in New Zealand and now a citizen of Australia, Jenn started her blog a year after her diagnosis with early stage breast cancer. She writes that she feels she has “come late to the party” when it comes to blogging about breast cancer – but I think the “party” never really ends!
If I have missed your blog from the party that is the weekly round-up, then please add it to the comments below.
Until next week.
Yours with love
Marie xxx
On Parole http://thefranco-americanflophouse.blogspot.fr/2013/01/on-parole.html
(For the background here is one of the first posts I wrote about my diagnosis http://thefranco-americanflophouse.blogspot.fr/2012/06/adventure-thus-far.html.)
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Thanks for the link Victoria – looking forward to reading your blog
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Wonderful tribute to Rachel this week in the blogosphere, wonderful roundup, wonderful you.
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Oh Renn I am blushing now 🙂 thank you xxxx
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Marie, Your post made me feel like we were all sitting together, having coffee and working together. Thanks for letting me be a oart of this amazing group. Beth
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Beth, that is exactly the way I want it to feel! A virtual natter among friends – thanks for describing it so nicely 🙂
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Hi Marie I have “found” your website just now Tomorrow I embark on the second part of my chemotherapy journey and I think the main emotion I am experiencing is utter loneliness I have a wonderful husband who has come along on every step of this breast cancer journey with me since last October when it all started and great friends and family but some times I feel so alone . I haven’t joined any support groups or really even talked much about my cancer up until now . I have been living as normal a life as I possibly can working and really doing most of the things that I always did. I went for routine breast screening in October and got a ” call back ” at the end of October then the biopsy cancer lumpectomy one night in hospital and then the awful “couldn’t get clear margins” and I can do the mastectomy on Thursday , this was Monday operation ten days in hospital home early December infection fluid removed and told the cancer was also under the nipple and in another of the limp nodes so all limp modes removed I feeling good most of the time Hair almost gone now and back in tomorrow I think I am just feeling a bit sorry for myself today and very very lonely Thank you for the opportunity to get this “off my chest ” how ridiculous that cliche now sounds to my ears Maggie
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Maggie, I am so glad you stopped by and shared how you are feeling. We all understand that feeling of loneliness you describe and your words will have brought many of us back into the early days of her diagnosis and treatment. You are embarking on a journey which will demand a lot of you physically and emotionally, but I hope you will take some comfort in knowing that many of us have taken that journey and emerged stronger at the end. Please stop by again and feel free to ask any questions or share your thoughts whatever they may be. Wishing you good healing on your journey. Marie x
PS I have sent you an email with some thoughts about support groups.
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Hi Maggie,
I too was diagnosed in October a week before with went to Thailand for a holiday (doctor says “have a nice holiday!!) . I had lumpectomy and 2 lymp nodes taken out and given all clear but a week later the results came back saying small amount of cancer in sentinel node that they didnt see on first dissection. I chose not to go back for another operation to have all lymph nodes taken out (as surgeon said ‘we will take them out whether they are healthy or not).So just finished 4th cycle of chemo and now suppose to start on Paxytaxol next week, then radiotherapy after that.
Maggie, the lonlieness is the worse thing about all of this,(no the hair loss is worse) I can be sitting with friends or family could be at home, all making a noise and I feel so alone. The problem that has plaqued me the last two weeks is the crying / sobbing – can’t seem to stop.
I know what you are saying about feeling this way – the battle of the mind is such a huge part of this situation.
Take care Liz
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Marie,
Thank you so much for including me. Your round-ups are always so wonderful and I hope people realize how much work it takes to curate all this content.
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Jackie, your poem was incredible this week – what a beautiful way to honor Rachel
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Marie, what an incredible roundup. So many great posts. Thank you for including mine among them and as always, thank you for putting this together.
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I was thrilled to see you back writing again Stacey – hope you will be inspired to keep on writing your blog x
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We won’t ever forget Rachel. I’m so glad that many blogs touched on the anniversary.
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Marie what a wonderful round up of the posts this week. I always find something that I missed and I really appreciate all that you do to keep our world of blogging united as we ask questions and learn new things from each other. As Rachel said, we have to keep on keeping on. Thanks Marie. XoXoXo – Susan
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Susan, I feel honored to be able to draw us altogher in the blogosphere throught the round up. I love to see the diversity of thought that is out there – there is room here for all opinions and all viewpoints.
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Thank you for including me in this week’s round up. I have been reading the posts about Rachel but didn’t know her well enough to comment. But for sure I can appreciate the love for her since over this past year the ladies online have come to mean so much. We are lucky to have connected- lucky to keep connecting. Thanks again!
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Catherine, I loved your clever fairy tale this week – so creative 🙂
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Thanks, Marie. It was a light way to explain a big change. 🙂
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Marie,
As a winter storm is approaching our area…I find the “all over body pain”–a gift from cancer treatment–has found me “hitting the couch.” What a comfort your blog has provided me today–I literally have spent hours reading the blogs of those you highlighted. Thanks for your labor of love.
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Kim, it’s wonderful to hear from you 🙂 I am sorry to hear you are in pain – sending you oodles of healing thoughts and prayers x
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Marie:
What a truly inspirational Round-Up this week, Marie. Thank you for bringing together so much emotion and love for our lost sisters. And thank you, as always, for including my posts.
Survival > Existence,
Debbie
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Thanks so much Debbie for your kind words x
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Dear Marie,
Thank you ….. I have so much gratitude and such appreciation for the time you take to write these round ups. YOU have been instrumental in solidifying the foundation of this community. You are a treasure…
xoxox
AnneMarie
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Anne Marie you just made my week 🙂 Hope the storm doesn’t inconvenience you too much x
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