THRIVE! The Bah! Guide to Wellness After Cancer
And the winner is…
Check the Journeying Beyond Breast Cancer Facebook page to see if you have won a copy of Stephanie’s book!
Special guest post today from Stephanie Butland, author of THRIVE! The Bah! Guide to Wellness After Cancer.
When Marie asked me to write about my thoughts on stress and cancer, the first thing I did was to have a look in my new book to see what I already thought about it. (One of my rules for life after cancer is: don’t reinvent the wheel.)
It turns out that I don’t think a lot about it: the word ‘stress’ or ‘distress’ appears only 6 times in the whole book. (For context: ‘love’ appears 99 times, ‘breast’ 45, ‘cancer’ 372, ‘knit’ 19 and ‘tea’ 36. You can see how I roll.)
Of course, I could argue that there’s one obvious reason why there isn’t a lot about stress in the book: the focus is positive, and the emphasis therefore on thriving and looking forward. It’s all about encouraging ways to come to terms, move on, live a life that feels comfortable and happy and good.
But, like everything around this complex and gruelling disease, it’s not that straightforward.
What I like most about my life after cancer is how much simpler it is. I’ve moved from London back to the place in the rural north east of England where I grew up. I spend more time with my family. I walk on beaches. I knit. I buy food from the farm shop up the road and drink a lot less wine than I used to. I say no – nicely – to things that I don’t want to do.
And if what I have just described isn’t an exercise in stress reduction, then I don’t know what is.
I have chronic IBS these days. Pre- cancer, I could eat pretty much anything that didn’t come in a shell, and although I was overweight I didn’t suffer in any other way from the food that I ate. Chemotherapy’s gut-stripping meant that for a while I could manage almost nothing that wasn’t bland or carby or coating my gut – pasta, rice pudding, chocolate milk.
As the good bacteria returned, with a little help from some supplements from my health food shop, I started to eat more normally again. For months I put the erratic bloating, pain, constipation and diarrhea down to slow healing, then my doctor told me about irritable bowel syndrome.
A haphazard process of elimination (no bowel pun intended, although I am quite pleased with it) means that my diet now contains a lot less sugar and wheat than it did. I’ve come to realise that if I eat certain foods – custard, pastry, beer especially – there will be consequences. If I eat too much sugar – and too much would be, say, a piece of cake or an ice cream every day for three days – then something happens in my system that means I’ll react badly to bread, coffee, milk, cereal, wine, anything spiced, anything acidic. If I eat a mainly healthy diet with the occasional ice cream/sandwich/apple crumble and custard thrown in, I’ll probably be OK.
Although I used to regard IBS as a leftover from cancer that meant I wasn’t quite well yet, more and more I wonder whether it’s something else. Perhaps cancer hones our instinct for what is good for us: IBS is my body’s best way of protecting me from myself and the ideas I have about food that serve me badly.
So perhaps, whether stress is a contributory factor to cancer or not, the removal of stress is a natural consequence of surviving the disease.
I do believe that, overall, I’m healthier, less stressed, and happier now that I was pre-cancer. I don’t know that I would have said I was thriving then, although I was bobbing along perfectly well. I do say I’m thriving (which gets 72 mentions, by the way) now.
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Author Biography
Stephanie Butland is a writer and blogger whose life changed when she was diagnosed with a breast cancer in 2008. She has a background as a trainer and expert in thinking skills and creativity, and now works to raise awareness of cancer and support others who are dancing with the disease.
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*WIN A COPY OF THE BOOK*
To be in with a chance to win a SIGNED copy of THRIVE! simply leave a comment below on any aspect of Stephanie’s guest post that struck a chord with you.
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the simpler life really struck a chord with me. Cancer helps one deal with the minor thing – just as that “Minor things”.
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Stephanie:
I love that you don’t focus on stress, but found ways to simplify your life – thereby organically reducing stress. Great post!
Survival > Existence,
Debbie
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I love your writing style Stephanie, and how in discussing stress you actually end up discussing the absence of stress. Whether everyone changes their lives so much after cancer is pretty much down to the individual, but you story is a lovely suggestion of what can happen when we focus more on our families, our well-beings, our hobbies (for you it’s knitting, I like growing tomatoes) and learning how to ‘thrive’.
Thanks for the post! (And for the reminder: I’ve got a sewing project that could do with some of my spare time – good fun, I think.)
Catherine
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Thanks Catherine for taking the time to comment. I am a big fan of Stephanie’s writing style too.
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Thank you Stephanie, i love your approach to living life after cancer (Particularly the benefits of tea, love and knitting!!) Too often we focus on the words “stress” and “distress” when talking about cancer…. . I have not experienced cancer myself, but I have nursed many individuals whose lives have been affected by cancer. I think living life after cancer is about adjusting to the “New Normal” and this “New Normal” may be very different for each individual. Thank you for writing this book…I am sure it will strike a chord with many:)
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Hi Sinead..thanks for the comment…I think whether we have personally experienced cancer or not..we have all experienced stress, so the advice goes for us all 😉
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The book sounds fab. But I particularly love the composition of the photographic portrait! The candelabra, the fireplace mantel, the color of the walls, the ball of yarn at your feet, the warmth of the rug beneath you, and the riot of red in your dress… it all speaks to what you describe as a simpler life post-cancer that appears absolutely your own. Bravo!! 😉
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Oh and Renn – yes, I love that picture! It was taken to accompany an article in Sainsbury’s Christmas magazine last year. I wrote about the experience here: http://bahtocancer.com/2011/11/me-and-my-dragon/
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Me too Renn! When I asked Stephanie to email me a jpeg image I was really taken with this one..it’s fab!
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What lovely comments, everyone. Thank you.
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I loved the photo too and the post on stress. I can feel the wind of change for me too, so I have registered with a mindfulness course next month and I am getting a dog. I guess that would add stress to some lives but for me it’s about my own destressor! Will soon be writing a puppy blog rather than breast cancer one I suspect!! Thanks as ever for the valuable conversations:-)
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My daughter has a dog and she is definitely a de-stresser! I interviewed Dr David Hamilton about thriving on my blog earlier in the week and he said that one of the best things you can do for yourself is to practice kindness to others. Pets let you do that all the time. (As I type I am kindly letting my kitten Flora chew my toes… ow!)
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awww.. we can just picture you Stephanie 😉 Marie
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“Perhaps cancer hones our instinct for what is good for us” Cancer has made me more aware of myself and what is good for me. It´s made me look after myself more than me look after everybody else´s interests and health!!!! It´s forced me to get to know myself more and not identify myself through others…….Rebecca
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Hi Rebecca, thanks for taking the time to leave a comment – great to have you here.
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Thanks !! You write like a best friend writing a litter, the friend that has listened to what is going on after cancer treatment and i just really enjoyed it . Cancer is our warning that stops us in our tracks. You write like I feel about it. What has happened has happened. It has taught us about ourselves whether we need to slow down and lool around, be good to ourselves, take up a relaxing hobby ( knitting is relaxing, and i bake too) and stop being so hard on ourselves. I have done courses that has provided me with a tool box to help me on my postcancer trail. I use all the ideas…. breathing, journaling enjoying what is in front of me ie the simple things in my life. I went back to my running , well slowly jogging and it is the best head thought clearing drug ever!!Yes the removal of stress is a natural consequence of surviving the disease and also very personnal.Hopefully the way we deal with it helps us and others. Looking forward to reading your book.
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‘postcancer trail’. What a great way of putting it!
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what a wonderful comment Mona!
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ohhhh I meant You write like a best friends writing a letter…
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I love your positive attitude! I hope I win the book :0)
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I love the fact that in the book the word “love” appears 99 times. That fact alone makes the book worth its weight in gold. xox
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isn’t that so lovely Jan 🙂
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I liked Sinead’s reference to ‘adjusting to the New Normal’. I believe we would all be less stressed if we recognised that change is part of life and that we will benefit by recognising the New Normal, whatever large or small events occur in our lives.
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Hi Alan, thanks for stopping by and adding to the discussion here. Marie
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Just joining my comment to all the positive ones here on Stephanie’s pic and her positive attitude to life – sounds like a great book and just what I would love to read 🙂
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Love the pic..love the attitude..am sure I would love the book!
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Really enjoyed reading this guest post and all the comments today
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I would dearly love to win this book to give to my sister who is recovering from a year of breast cancer treatments
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What a wonderful-sounding book! I agree that keeping stress to a minimum is key in helping our physical and mental health. I enjoy painting, reading, journaling — anything creative that can help derail stress.
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Great post, Stephanie! My wife was diagnosed with Stage 3 breast cancer in January. As we go through the journey from victim to survivor she has encountered numerous small “ailments”. We’re never sure whether to attribute them to the cancer, the treatment, or something else. The one thing for certain is that we pay more attention to them than before.
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Hi Brian, thanks for stopping by..and you raise a great point about those post treatment worries about every ache and pain. Wishing you and your wife all the very best.
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Thanks for the post, good reminder to focus on being mindful. Can be a challenge. Just finished treatment for BC #2 and looking forward to health.
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I was really drawn in by the title of this piece – Stephanie & Marie – I like the BAH! approach, instead of the hushed tones that cancer normally provokes!! And what I love from the article is the sense of focusing on yourself as a person, not the product of a disease, and to meet the challenges – like IBS – in a positive way, one that enriches your life and understanding of your body; not a down-side to be tolerated but listening to your body telling you how to be well and thrive.
And yes, the photo – that frock is WOWSER!!
ax
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I was really drawn in by the title of this piece – Stephanie & Marie – I like the BAH! approach, instead of the hushed tones that cancer normally provokes!! And what I love from the article is the sense of focusing on yourself as a person, not the product of a disease, and to meet the challenges – like IBS – in a positive way, one that enriches your life and understanding of your body; not a down-side to be tolerated but listening to your body telling you how to be well and thrive.
And yes, the photo – that frock is WOWSER!!
ax
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Great to hear from you again Angela and thanks so much for your comment 🙂
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I am still working on simplifying my life. I say no more often than I used to. I find that because I look good people seem to think I am back to normal, whatever that is 🙂 my new normal is tired a lot and I am adjusting to that. I am just taking each day as it comes, happy to be cancer free and trying to deal with my life after cancer.
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Hi Karen, thanks for taking the time to leave a comment..you make a great poing here about just because you look like you are back to normal..doesn’t mean you are.
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I was fortunate to find a wig right off that was really “me”. I get almost too many comments that state , oh you don’t even look sick! I love the title Thrive because it rhymes with Survive! Can’t wait to read it because it has been a year since my diagnosis, a mastectomy in May, chemo because of cancerous cells in lymph nodes takenout and lastly radiation. In 6 weeks, I will be released from all treatments. I am simplifying my life too, going to loose the weight I gained during treatment, and ride a bike or walk on the beach every day. The next stage of Thriving and surviving is scary. Thanks for writing this book.
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May you continue to survive and thrive Louise. Marie x
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“Perhaps cancer hones our instinct for what is good for us:” — I think these are very wise words –I’m not ‘well’, but in some ways I am better than I’ve ever been.
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What a truly wonderful comment Janine..thank you so much for sharing it with us today. Marie
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