How do you finish this sentence? (Archive Post)
Debbie’s discovery of cancer’s gifts continues to attract comments and opinions – the latest being a wonderful post from Terri who writes at A Fresh Chapter on the inter-mingling of sorrow and joy.
It has also inspired today’s post.
If I ask you to finish the sentence below, how would you do it? What is the first thing that springs to mind when you read these words:
Having cancer…
Don’t think too much about it when you answer – often your first answer is the most instinctive and instructive.
Looking forward to your responses.
Having cancer was the wake up call I needed to change my life
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Having Cancer makes me sad to think that I have lost my mom and Grams and many friends to Breast Cancer. Having cancer also warned me to test for BRCA (I was) and do all that I could do to keep from having cancer which was prophylatic mastectomies!
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Having cancer is tough
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Having cancer is being in a dark place
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I keep hearing of the light at the end of the tunnel but I cant find it. Good luck to u !
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Having cancer is in my past now
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Stole me. The me I knew . I cant find her no more
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Having cancer taught me to live in the moment.
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Having cancer has profoundly changed my life; some changes have been good, others not so much.
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Having cancer liberated me from a fear of dying
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Having cancer is a challenge I face up to every day
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Having cancer forced me to live – before this I was sleep walking through life – now I realise how truly precious life is and I want to truly live it.
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Having cancer has changed my outlook on life – I no longer tolerate a lot of the pettiness and meaness of those who are around me.
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Having cancer scares me
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Having cancer makes me feel so very alone
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Having cancer makes me vulnerable
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Having cancer is an emotional rollercoaster
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Having cancer makes me feel out of control
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Having cancer means extending more compassion and mercy to others.
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How beautiful Jan x
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Having cancer hit me like a ton of bricks and I am still recovering from the shock of being told I have cancer 2 weeks ago.
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Having cancer means not having the energy to do what I used to be able to do
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Having cancer makes me want to reach out to others in the same situation
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Having cancer has shaken my core beliefs and swept away all certainties
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Having cancer makes me feel sad
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Having cancer has made me more vigilant of my health, what I eat, and how I live my life
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Having cancer is just part of my life journey
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Having cancer has been a life changing experience for me
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Having cancer stole my innocence. I will never again be the bright and shiny 30 year old version of myself who believed her fairy tale life was just around the corner. However, this crustier 32-year-old version of me is less afraid of what people think, more willing to make decisions from my heart, and more open to seizing any adventures that come my way.
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Having cancer interrupted my life, sent it spinning out of control and changed it irrevocably. It also redirected my life, enlarged it and focused it. Having cancer is living everyday with cancer’s gifts and losses.
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Having cancer gave me so much more than it took away.
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I am just loving the comments everyone. Please keep them coming!
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Having cancer….took away the old, but has brought out a new..new me!
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Cancer or not…God is good all the time God is good
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It made me better able to appreciate what my customers go through and be able to better relate to them. Karen
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Having cancer is not a gift. I’d never ‘give’ such a thing to anyone I loved. But like any other of life’s hurdles, we can choose how to get through it. And some of my choices have led me to wonderful things, like new friends, who are indeed a gift. Unlike other hurdles, however, it has changed my life irrevocably, in ways I’m still paying for, literally, with no end in sight.
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having cancer let me see through all the cramp and look for the light in my life
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Having cancer gave me a new perspective on what is important in life.
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Having cancer changes everything…good, bad and all places in between.
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Having cancer has taught me what I’m willing to put up with…and what I’m not.
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Having cancer was a blessing in disguise. It solidified my trust in God, and showed me my strength in following my gut instincts. I became a “machine” at research, went to Mexico for treatment, made some new friendships, learned how to help heal my body using proper nutrients, & found a new career in Natural Health added to my RN license as a consultant for people looking for disease prevention. I am truly blessed…
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Having cancer…SUCKS! Especially metastatic breast cancer.
BTW-please excuse my language but that’s what first popped in my mind.
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No need to apologize Jorjanne! You are right – it does suck big time.
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made me reassess my life and focus on what is really important: relationships. Accepting that I live with cancer has meant that I continue to make healthy, positive choices about my life every day.
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Having cancer sucks. Forgetting cancer is hard. Surviving cancer is wonderful. But for all the black and whites, I think it’s those in between moments – the grey areas, where hope and heartache intermingle to make some kind of unique experience that only those who have ‘been there’ can appreciate – that really leaves a person forever changed. Whether it’s for the better probably depends on your perspective . . . but I am most certainly forever changed.
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Catherine, you have so eloquently pin-pointed those feelings that we, as cancer survivors, have likely all experienced: “the grey areas, where hope and heartache intermingle to make some kind of unique experience that only those who have ‘been there’ can appreciate . .” –that feeling of being torn in two directions–“I’m fine. But am I really? I HAD cancer. But will it come back?” I don’t feel that I’ll ever really be liberated from that grey area, but I am learning to live happily within it.
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Having cancer was the LAST thing I expected, and has changed my life hugely. Now I see everything through the cancer lens and while I appreciate and value the good things that have come into my life as a result, I still resent it and get upset and angry at what it has done to me and those close to me.
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Philippa I love that phrase through the cancer lens, it is brilliant!
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Having cancer taught me who my real friends were..so many melted away when I needed them most.
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Angeline, I had this experience, too. I also had friends who were around long enough to wave flags – “aren’t I great for helping my cancer friend?” – then they left me after treatment.
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I haven’t had cancer but I do work as a nurse tutor and found this post very revealing of the wide variety of reactions and emotions surrounding a diagnosis of cancer. I am going to show it to my class as I think it will be a powerful lesson for them. Thanks for all the great work you do on JBBC – I often dip into it and always learn so much about cancer from the patient’s perspective.
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Having cancer is s**t!
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Having cancer was not part of my life plan!!! But then cancer is no respecter of age, status or life plans!
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Having cancer scared the c**p out of me!!!!
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Having cancer made me learn patience…you need it in abundance with all the hanging around in chemo and radiation wards!
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Having cancer taught me what really matters in this life and not to waste anymore time sweating the small stuff
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Having cancer is a gift I’d like to return
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Having cancer was unexpected, unwelcome and transforming.
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having cancer at 36 sucks, cancer is hateful and it will take everything from you if you let it…..
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Having cancer has been a wake up call that I needed to make some changes in my life, but has also given me the opportunity to meet some incredible women.
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Having cancer is not something I have had to face yet but with a strong history of it in my family, it is something that I dread
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Having cancer is a place I never wanted to find myself in, but now that I am in it, I have to deal with it as best I can. I get inspiration from forums and blogs such as yours 🙂
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First thought, sucks!! Second thought, allowed me to venture beyond my safe world and got me writing again after many years. Although, it sucks that it took cancer for that. Sticking with sucks.
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Having cancer robbed me of the chance to be a mother
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Cancer decided to make me it’s home, I didn’t invite it to move in nor did I want it. There is nothing good about this disease I have not had any kind of epiphany or reawakening…. .I have also learned we are kept in the dark about treatments because I firmly believe if woman knew in advance we would be looking for alternative treatments not having to endure months and years of pain in taking certain drugs like Femara, Arimidex, Aromasins Mostly I have learned we have to be our own ADVOCATES!!
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Having cancer…
took the ‘old me’ with it when it was cut from my body…
But the ‘new me’ is stronger, determined, driven and aware that life may be short… I take every opportunity… I try and experience everything (and discard the bits I don’t like without feeling guilty)… laugh, just because I can… love, because I know how important it is to feel loved… say sorry when I need to… accept apologies and compliments in equal measure… and most importantly I truly cherish the journey.
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Having cancer has changed my life in every way imaginable. Some, I could do without, like the fear of recurrence, while others, like making me more empathetic and living in the here and now, are gifts that have been gratefully received.
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What a wonderful variety of comments everyone – thank you so much for taking part – just goes to show that there is no one size fits all in our experience of cancer.
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I don’t have cancer but my aunt died from breast cancer 3 years ago and reading through these responses here made me realize how hard it was for her to go through this devastating disease.
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Having cancer taught me the difference between merely existing and living.
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Having cancer saved my life. Before my diagnosis I drank too much, smoked and partied too hard and was directionless in life. Cancer changed all that. I cleaned up my act – no longer drink or smoke, eat healthy, do yoga and meditation and exercise regularly. I am a happier, healthier more focussed person since my cancer diagnosis 9 years ago and loving life in a way I never did before.
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Having cancer requires a shift in perception – let go of fear as much as you can – that is the advice I received when I was diagnosed with breast cancer 3 years ago and though it wasn’t always easy to do, it helped me in the end
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Having cancer is an individual experience – there is no such thing as one right way to deal with it – so, as these comments show, deal with it in your own way and don’t let anyone tell you how you should or shouldn’t feel.
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Having cancer put a huge emotional strain on my marriage and sadly it didn’t survive. I feel this is an aspect of cancer that is frequently overlooked and needs more support
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I think you’re right, Catherine. Cancer is a huge burden on relationships, and even though mine survived – it was the most stressful year ever and we’re still licking our wounds. Both the patient and the carer need to be supported, and it’d be great if relationship counselling was provided.
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Having cancer has taken away my sense of security and control and has been very frightening for me.
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Hi Anna, I totally get where you are coming from on this, but please don’t isolate yourself. If there is a cancer support unit near you, do consider joining it. Meeting others who are going through the same thing as you lessens the feeling of isolation and fear.
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Having cancer made my life miserable; I don’t think I’ll ever recover.
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Having cancer shows me how beautiful people can be…
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Having cancer has made me face the trough that I will never be a mommy, it has taken me from the job I love doing being a nurse for other and made me the patient and I hate it.
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Having cancer sucks, plain and simple…
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Having cancer is like living in two different worlds. In one, I’m still the aunt, daughter and sister I always was, but in the other, more private world, I’m someone new, with a different perspective and a different future.
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Having cancer means I’ve lost a kind of innocence that most of my friends still have and that kind of makes me sad.
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Having cancer has been a lonely experience for me as I don’t have any immediate family I can call on. Sure I have friends, but this is one of those times when you need to reach out to someone who’s bound to you by ties of marriage, blood, or partnership.
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Having cancer wreaked havoc on my well ordered world. I could no longer work at the job I loved – I was known as strong, self-reliant and in control but suddenly, I was not in control. I hated being a frail, fatigued bald, old lady. Things are slowly improving but my life no longer feels like my life anymore.
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Having cancer is a reminder to live each day fully; to seize the opportunity to express love and appreciation to those we care about, to take the time to stop and notice little things that can make life so enjoyable, to help others and to remember to be thankful for whatever good fortune we have.
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Has shown me just how loved I am.
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